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I hate myself for the anger I feel for my mum when she is old and resentful toward my care giving.

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Until you get sorted, come here. Rant as much as you like or need to. It is a good stress release. No-one here will think badly of you. We all lose it at sometime. Take care of you first. Heed the advice given here, it comes from caring knowledgeable people.
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Zpam: You're a caring person who sounds like you need a break. Is there someone who can fill in for you? If your Mom's on hospice could you ask about respite care? Does you Mom have some money she can spend on hired help for you? A lot of questions for you isn't helpful, but I hope for your sake the answers are. Take care of you.
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Anger is a normal response to stress and feeling backed into a corner, maybe not for everyone - some people cry or go numb or even totally break down instead - but it happens to a lot of caregivers and can be a sign of approaching burnout. When it happens too often you need to find a way to relieve some of the pressure by putting your needs first (at least occasionally). Here are a couple of articles you should read:

www.agingcare.com/articles/signs-of-caregiver-burnout-149391.htm

www.agingcare.com/articles/sneaky-side-of-caregiver-burnout-159850.htm
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Z, it sounds like you need a break. How did it come about that you are mom's caregiver?
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