25 years ago I began having panic and anxiety attacks when I was pregnant. I have had problems off and on since then but never really KNEW or FOUND OUT HOW TO STOP THEM. IT WAS MORE LIKE USE Xanax UNTIL THEY STOPPED. I have done deep breathing, walking up and down the street and its 1 am, praying,also done all the imaging stuff and I am finding nothing that really works.
i am caring for Mom basically alone even though my older sister lives with us. Her and my younger sister work and I am on disability so I am the one left at home to deal with all situations alone. Older sister stays at work past quitting time so she does not have to deal with Mom or anything else. She has started trying to come home a bit earlier this past week but it may be too little and too late. I have felt pretty much like I was being treated as a slave for some time but I was living with it, I had no choice. Now the panic and anxiety attacks have begun again and it is based on being stuck in this house all the time and shouldering the care giving alone.
I see a therapist in my home once a week. I am so fearful of this becoming worse and me not being able to care for Mom at all as I will wind up being the crazy person who cannot handle stress again.. I worked hard to get past this and with it starting again, I just want it to stop!! I just do not know how to control it.
I had been trying to leave the house each weekend to see that life really exists outside these four walls but older sister had a fit that I ways always leaving with my younger sister and demanded that it stop, it is jealousy. She actually told me I had to ask her permission before I left the house! I told her to basically F Off! The last 3 weekends I have sat at home all weekend long and she has NEVER LEFT THE HOUSE THE ENTIRE WEEKEND, NEVER EVER LEFT!. I personally don't give a crap what she says any longer, she leaves this house every single day. Yes she is going to work, but she is out of this house and dealing with kids and other teachers and staff, so she has some resemblance of a life...I STOPPED HAVING A LIFE IN 1997 WHEN i BECAME ILL, SO MY YOUNGER SISTER AND HER DAUGHTER ARE MY ONLY FRIENDS. Just running to have my blood drawn at the lab this morning was like I had been set free.
If I could just get my mother to agree to leave the house to go to a park, or the store, just anyplace to get out of here I think it would help but she flat out refuses. I think she feels very uncomfortable leaving her normal surroundings so she is like an immovable bull in a 95 pound body. The only place she has been willing to go in the past has been the cemetery where her family is buried. At this point I am willing to go there if it means being outside and away from here.
I think obviously the thing I have to do is find someone who can stay with her so I can leave the house. How do I go about finding a company or agency that is reputable that I can trust and it doesn't cost $25 an hour.
I really need any input that you may have on dealing with the panic and anxiety, overcoming it hopefully permanently and I would greatly appreciate your input on finding someone to stay with Mom or giving advice on what else i can/should do.
I need a solution as my sister is trying to break me, because she wants me to have to give up POA over my mother. I cannot do that, she was using Mom's money to pay her bills with no intention of ever paying it back. HELP!!!!!