My grandmother has some form of Dementia. She lives with my grandfather only at the moment and neither of them have the best mobility. My grandmother has delusions that my grandfather is out cheating everyday. It has caused her to become violent a few times and he has called the police, she was taken for mental evaluation each time. They have 3 kids, my mom (who is locked up), my aunt who is doing well enough (she just finished caring for my other grandfather out of her home, he passed away), and my uncle (he is doing well enough also to help.
I'm 29 and my brother 36, both of us only have each other and have no family help/support outside.
The actual children aren’t as helpful as I wish they would be (my aunt/uncle). My main concern is my grandfather's well-being. He has PTSD and cares deeply for my grandmother but her being violent has him confused. He has it in his mind that she is crazy, he doesn’t understand that her brain is literally messed-up and is causing the delusions etc.
My question is what can my brother and I do?
I would love to be able to place my grandmother somewhere to get the care she needs and to alleviate the stress from my grandfather. I believe it would be beneficial to both of them to have her somewhere she can get assistance and care. Money is of course always an issue, but my grandfather is retired veteran so him and my grandmother have Tricare for life, if that matters.
I just feel stuck, everyday more and more assistance is needed for smaller and smaller things and it’s taking a lot out of my brother and I.
We’ve lost our father, little brother, mother and family home all since 2013. This is just another layer to a cake we didn’t order.
Is your GF getting VA benefits now? If so, he can ask the social worker for his team to assist him on this issue, as well as other issues of funding and care.
Good luck.
The Dept. of Veterans Affairs has several home care options. Visit their site or call the Social Work office at the nearest VA hospital or clinic.
Start here:
Commission on Aging & Disability (Aging) (tn.gov)
Each county in the US has an area agency on aging; you need to get in touch with them and ask for a "needs assessment", help with finding resources and perhaps case management.