Its only been 6 weeks since my father passed. But I am feeling lost. It seems everyone including my siblings have "moved" on with their lives. But I'm still going over the details of the last year. Feeling tortured about what ifs. It seems the whole year was a struggle. As my father's primary caregiver for the last three years, the final year before he passed was the hardest. He seemed to lose the will to live. I was getting frustrated and impatient with him. He didn't want to eat, or take showers, or take his meds, everything felt like an uphill fight. And then I finally stopped fighting with him. Now that he has passed, I feel like he could have lived longer if only I was willing to fight for him. I should have found other solutions instead of giving up on him. People talk about grief work, but I don't know what that is. Others have suggested I need to find a new life, new purpose or just a distraction. But eventually I go back to my dad and how I failed him. I'm not sure what to do. Most days I do not want to do anything. I have gone back to work but other than that, I don't know what steps to take to feel better. Or maybe I haven't given myself enough time. I don't seem to have any answers.