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Mom and Dad moved into assisted living at the end of june this year. after years of caregiving, i feel sick everyday. some days more than others. my dad has dementia and my mom to a certain degree too. i am losing both of them at different speeds and i could throw up. any one have any words of wisdom for me? any one else go through this nausea? thanks.
just know, now is your time to be a daughter instead of caretaker..
I just read the posts before mine..I'm just parroting them..
S-T-R-E-S-S
What's it good for?
Absolutely Nothing !!
your body knows it..it's just purging..
Go take care of your body, your mind will thank you for it and vice versa.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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It almost sounds like your body is decompressing, getting acclimated to this new change of relief, if you will..
perhaps the feeling of guilt of them being placed in assisted living? And you have a moment of freedom now.
June, July, August..3 months..
take a moment and breathe. Go get a
massage, go get your nails done..
have you tried pickleball? Go try it.. it is saving me.. I can hit something and it comes back my way..and I can laugh at the people laughing at me.. I'm getting my stress out twice a week.. or take a yoga class
or pottery.. baby steps; you're in new phase..
when you see your parents, bring a picnic music and laugh. I'm sure there are tables around.. it's OK.. they want you to be happy!! IT IS OKAY!
grab a friend and go to a movie, picnic in a park..breathe... drink a lot of water.
Do not feel guilty.
PLEASE give yourself a hug, smile in the mirror- YOU DONE GOOD !
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Reply to MAYDAY
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I would most certainly go for a complete physical at your doctors office to rule out any underlying health issues before you start blaming it on the fact that you have 2 parents that are not in good health.
Caregiving, especially when done for many years can takes it toll on you physically, mentally and spiritually so best to rule out any physical, mental and spiritual issues so you know exactly what you're dealing with.
I wish you well in getting the answers you need from your health care providers.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Some anti-anxiety and/or antidepressant medication might help you. Also consider some therapy to help you redefine your life now that you're not doing full-time caregiving.

Make a list of all the things you enjoyed doing before your parents took over your life, and another one of all the things you dreamed of doing while you were constrained by their daily needs. Then start doing them!

Call the friends you haven't had time to see, and set up coffee or lunch with them. Get a massage, go to a head spa. Take a walk in a lovely area every day. Book a trip, and then another. Start small with a weekend at a lake or beach or in the woods, or splurge on a cruise. Spend a day reading a book all the way through.

You probably have a form of PTSD, feeling like you should always be on alert. Pat yourself on the back for all you did for so many years, and reward yourself now by listening to your own needs going forward.
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Reply to MG8522
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I think you need to see your PCP to make sure there's nothing medically wrong with you causing nausea every day. Anxiety can cause it, and Zofran can keep it at bay. If the doctor prescribes Zofran, know that it causes constipation but works beautifully to get rid of nausea. Just keep a stool softener or laxative handy.

I lost both of my parents too, dad in 2015 to a brain tumor and mom in 2022 to dementia and congestive heart failure. It wasn't in short order, but in a way it would've been better because mom lived to 95. A long life with dementia is horrible and death is a relief from all the suffering, imo. That's not to say your sadness isn't real or warranted, it is.....but all the suffering on your parents part you don't want to go on for too long. I hope you bring hospice on for both of them when the time is right. I'm happy I did for both of my folks.

I hope you feel better soon. I know how hard it is to watch the decline of the people you love, and to suffer the anxiety and cry the tears of knowing there's little you can do to help. God bless you my friend.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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