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My MIL was always very controlling and now that part of her personality is returning. However taking back over her finances is not possible for a woman who doesn't know what day it is, how to dress, how to pick out her clothes. Who daily puts her shoes on the wrong feet!! How do we approach her on this?? She has financial advisers and they pay all her bills and take care of her money. She is becoming very abusive and belligerent!! Is this Alzheimer's starting along with the Dementia? Most days just wish she was gone!! Sick of getting up every morning and dealing with Her!! Sorry pity me right!!

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Probably Senile Dementia. She probably needs to be medicated for the aggressive behavior and she may need to be placed in a Memory Care Unit is she is at risk for wandering or harm to you or others because of aggressive behavior.
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It's time to find her some long term dementia care and get her out of your home. No reason to feel guilty I'm pretty sure she never did while being a control freak. When care giving starts affecting your mental and physical health it's time to put the cause somewhere except with you.
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I really am glad I found this site it does help to talk to others in the same situation.I dont feel like an uncaring oaf!! Yesterday combative today meek and sleepy.I know its the dementia/Alzheimers but as you know that doesnt keep your blood pressure from rising.I do get out to visit my own father in the nursing home.And My mother lives with my sister but I take her to her drs appointments.We suspect the beginnings of Alz in her. She had to sisters that had Alz. Thank you for responding.I will think of you and be glad to listen to you too!!
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your stressed out and need a break, is she on hospice? if not I would set an appointment up with her dr. and get her on hospice care. I take care of my dad at home and have been where you are, its normal to have these feelings we can only go so long before we need a break. our hospice group allows me 5 days of respite every 3 months and it helps me to re-group, catch up on sleep and just relax. but definately start with the doctor she may have an infection causing her personality to change and maybe they can give her some medication to help her moods.
just know your not alone and come back often to vent, people here are nice and have great advice
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I am no expert, but I occasionally think about finding an extra pillow....My father is like that and I've actually said things back to him that have shocked me later. The problem is that we are emotionally attached and feelings can't help but get hurt, trampled or in the way of rational caregiving. I emotionally can't care for my parents for the same reasons. I can't speak for others, but I think you are having a natural, rational reaction.
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