My mother lived with me for 10 yrs. She died 3 months ago. She quit eating, she was done with life.
She hid her feelings or I just didn't want to see them. She stayed Home on hospice for 2 weeks before passing. I promised I would always take care of her and never put her in a home, I never did.
The first 5 yrs. She drank alot, always had. She fell alot at night from drinking, I got very frustrated with the extra work and care involved after a fall. Worried she would break a hip. I did not leave home over night except rarely because I worried she would fall, plus it bothered her if I left.
The last 3 yrs. We got her drinking under controll, Dr. Took away sleeping meds it made her very unhappy
I need to get to my point. I feel even though we lived in the same house, I did not spent enough time with her in the last 2 yrs. She loved tv, and it was very very loud, I didnt sit in her room enough to watch with her. She never wanted to leave house , she loved her tv. 2 weeks before she died we went to dr. I asked my mom what she wanted, to live or die, if she wanted to live we would get PT scheduled for home visits so she could walk more, she slept alot and have help. She said live, that was on Fri. On Monday she would not get out of bed, I called hopice and 2 weeks later she died.
I feel I could have done more, spent more time with her, not tried to get her to walk and eat, been more patient, I was mad because I felt she had given up, slipping away and I was to blind to see it. I cry all the time, I cant go in her room, I should have been a better daughter, I am lost now. I am disabled and have not worked for 3 years so I could have spent more quality time with her. I just feel so guilty will it ever stop. I
Did always say I love you, but did I show it enough?