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Feel resentful towards them? Wish it would all go away? I was never really close to either of my parents and now dealing with caregiving within the same city where I live. Thank GOD they didn't move into our home, not even an option - they'll be on the street before they'd live with me. Thanks for this website just wonderful to know others are going through similar situations.

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Yes, also dealing with both parents. I do feel resentful because my parents had 25 wonderful years of retirement, traveling, movies, eating out, etc. And here I am pushing 70 years old and wondering when will I get to enjoy retirement before I forget what is retirement !! Or will I even live to see retirement :P
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Yess!!! Especially today!

My dad has dementia, my mom.. questionable. She climbed up on a step ladder to look for candy in the counter and fell, broke her wrist. She required surgery. I am already stressed to the limit with my job and now my mom can't do anything with her right arm!

Just went to fix them lunch.. yes.. now I have to fix them ALL meals.. and wash the dishes on my break from WORK. I have recently hired a caregiver who has not started yet.... my mom says... Geee... I just don't know what she will do ?? What is the use .. just to watch your Dad?? Saying this.. while I am frantically cooking lunch to get back to work to yet another conference call.

I said Mom.. what am I doing NOW??? YES.. IT is huge to find someone who can stay with my dad!! It is only me and my mom who will stay with my dad now... none of my good for nothing relatives. The caregiver can be doing this.... instead of me right now!!!

Sorry for the vent on your thread.. I am Soooo tired right now... and fed up. But yea.. I fell overburdened!!!!
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Yes, that's how I ended up here. I felt like I was going to lose my ever loving mind until I came here and read how many countless others are going through the same thing or far worse than me. The resentment comes mostly from my sense that they don't care how it impacts me or my hub, just do what the need, when they need it and then they'll still complain. It got to a point where I felt some simmers of hate which I didn't want to have happen.

Just this week I blew up on my dad over his indignant comments about my hub helping. It was beyond rude and out of place. My hub has showed far more patience toward him than I was ever able to show growing up. He acts like cleaning up #1 and #2 accidents should be routine for us, and oh by the way, take time off from our jobs in the middle of the day because their house smelled like a stench. Thank God we both have understanding managers who allow us to do this without fear of being fired.

Yet they don't want to accept outside help. However, this summer I went around them and got it anyway. They don't know that's what it is, but it's working. Since it's a friend and she doesn't wear a uniform and no paperwork is there it doesn't appear to be help to them. That's another story. I wish I could turn back the clock and see this was coming. I would have been much more proactive about getting them and me prepared and at least try to drive some better decisions about future care. Hugs and prayers for you. Hang in there, you're in good company on this site!
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Welcome to the caregiver love/hate club Friendly. Just got off the phone with my Mom, won't use her walker, diabetic and won't eat regularly, Dad won't allow anyone in the house etc, etc. This forum is a great place to vent and to learn. I've learned so much about diabetes and dementia from all the good folks on here.
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That reminds me of recently when my Mom was first in the hospital, I was there with her, and sig other gets this phone call at 8pm and it was Dad [94] at home saying he was hungry. Say what? This man who use to invent things as his career cannot invent a sandwich for himself???

So my sig other went out to my parents house, opened up the freezer, got out a Stouffer's dinner, and popped it in the microwave. I knew then we were in trouble if Mom didn't recover.

It's times like this where you want to put on a helmet and bang your head against the wall.
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Resentful, Yes you bet! We have been Caregiving for my now 85 yr old FIL living in our home X11 years! I'm completely DONE, and want it to End! And I feel terrible for even saying that, as he isn't a bad man, just a complete burden to us and getting on with our own lives! I just wish it was over. He and my MIL, had 15 years of Retirement fun, and I believe after previously caring for my own parents, and now 11 plus years of him in our home, its a freaking nuff! Put a fork in it!
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I feel resentful ! This is only natural . I wanted to travel and now my husband is so ill that is out and before that 15 years caring for mother. I am coping by telling myself this is clearly my destiny in this world and travel is not so wonderful these days with all the masses of people. I am 75 my husband is 81. I am an only child with no children and my husbands relatives live miles away and are bossy and judgemental. Yes this site is a lifesaver!
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Yeah, I had plenty of days of feeling resentful. I had both parents for 9 years and then my dad passed away. I've still got mom, now 13 years later (and a lot longer if you count the emergency trips I had to take to get to them before they moved 200 miles to be nearer me).

I'm 65 and I feel like I'm watching my own retirement "fun" disappear, as I have that constant burden of caregiving. So yeah, I feel your pain.
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STACEY, all that and looks like you helping the queen around now. How's the old girl holdin up?
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Windyridge, the Queen and I are thick as thieves! I'll be popping over for tea soon!
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