Mom passed away 2 weeks ago and I feel lost, dazed. I don't know what to do. Help?

To make life decisions without carefully choosing, and choosing for the right reasons. So, be aware, you can bury the grief, and it can come out in negative, self destructive ways...that have potential long term consequences. I am giving myself a year to work through what I want to do. I love my husband and went to the wall to help him any way that I could. But the reality is that maybe I love him much more than he loves me, even after this shared experience. That is where I am at, 1 month out.

Hospice has AWESOME grief counselors, education classes, activities - free for all ages, and all family members, teens, kids, spouses. You will all benefit from it and understand the grieving process and all feelings and why grief happens the way it does. They minister to anyone even if your loved one was not the patient. Find and GO to your nearest one. I lost my mom 2 months ago, and within a 6 week period her younger sister, and a brother-in law! So 3 loved ones will knock the wind out of you. Just take your time to grieve completely. "Grief=You have to go through it, you can't go around it." And now you'll be dealing with estate... It's all stressful never seems to end, but it will someday. If you need to cry - DO IT! It's healing . Great resources: 1. Life after Loss-
Grieving with Hope, Tim Jackson Our Daily Bread Ministries, ourdailybread.org. (free) 2. When Your Parent Dies, Jane Woods Shoemaker, USAA.org. (free) MANY more out there - The education is awesome! God Bless You through this difficult journey in your live - one day at a time. 3. THIS WEBSITE.

I think everyone here has already said all the right stuff. It is true that grief is different for everyone. Allow your grief to last as long as you need to. I don't think we ever stop grieving entirely; I lost my mom almost a year ago and there are moments during the day when I still feel as pained and raw as I did the day after she died. But there are other moments where I can enjoy more positive feelings, while realizing that my mother, though gone in body, is still with me in spirit. I talk to her every night and that helps, too. It will get better, but allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to right now.

I am sorry for your loss. My Mom died a bit over a year ago after a rough time and being bedridden in my home. I cared for her 24/7 for well over a year. I was so busy at first after she passed away, but it seemed to hit me harder than before about 9 months after she died before the holidays. Then the tears would come so easily, usually early evenings. I am still sad at how rough it had to be for her, and mad at how incompetent some of the medical and rehab people in nursing homes were before I finally took her home and she finally had a great hospice team. The emotions are sometimes up and down. My Mom has been in my dreams a lot lately and she appears younger and is able to walk, often on a vacation somewhere nice, etc. I find that a sign that she is ok now and it is replacing my memory of her bedridden. Please give yourself a lot of time and understand the emotions may come and go...but it gets better at some point. What helped me was to go through old photos where she was young and happy.

I can understand how you feel lonely and sad. A good counselor can help so much. Talking to someone who is not family or a friend, who really can understand and help you acknowledge your feelings will be so helpful. Make inquiries as to who is the best professional person to counsel you. Yes, it will cost money, it is worth it. You deserve to have guidance and will benefit one hundred fold (your family too.)

You have been on hi alert for a long time. Suddenly, you are not. It is a 'crash'. like speeding at 80 mph and then coming to an abrupt stop.Your body,soul and spirit are still reverberating. Feeling lost,out of it, can't concentrate etc are all perfectly normal. It takes time to get into a new balance. It is very hard work: I felt totally not needed (even though I had other family);irritable,cranky;upside down and inside out!! Whatever feelings arise,let them. Just know it will take time. Be kind to yourself now. Tell your family you are going thru a 'dry patch' and now you need them to be patient with you. You will recover! Best wishes to you. Malachy

You may want to seek out the help of a psychiatrist, short term.

I hear you more than you will ever know.My Mom passed away May of 2015 at 89.How would you like to hold yourself responsible as I do because maybe I did not make her drink more water as she has a second urinary infection and the doctor gave her Cipro which ruined her kidneys.My Mom was not just my mom she was my best friend.Almost two years has not taken away 1 ounce of the pain.No Christmas tree for the second year no Christmas Lights no nothing. Our house use to look like a Christmas Store.Ihave come to the conclusion it will never stop, it's like I'm here but I'm not.

I totally understand your situation. My mom also passed away last Sept. 15, 2016. She also suffered from ALZ, and I was the one who took care of her during her last days here on earth. All I can say is to allow yourself to grieve, it may take some time, but gradually you will surely be able to accept it and be able to cope the loneliness of missing her. What I am trying to do now is to at least be grateful that I was able to spend the previous two years of my life taking care of her. This somehow helps me a lot to accept the situation. I have hopes that I will see her again someday in heaven. God bless you!

Dear Dogmother3,
I too have just lost my Momma just 0ne month ago. I cared for her for 4 n half years. She was 89 when she went home to Jesus! The 1st 3 wks I was totally confused, thoughts going everywhere. I too lost my husband 10 months prior. Now, I'm grieving both of them. My head is clearer now so the tears are pouring out more. Just this morning, I reminded myself to celebrate in my mind the fact that we all made it! Me, my husband, who was my rock of support, and my Momma! We made it thru the huge challenge of taking care of an elder with alzheimers. Not a small task to say the least. My Momma made it too because thru it all she was super sweet, always loving everyone, cute as a button, one of the funniest people I know, a real trooper, doing as much as she physically could. I could go on and on. Yes, grieving is very important and I totally hate it! We can grieve and be happy for our blessings too. I will pray for you Dogmother3, please pray for me too. I believe prayer is powerful. And remember, we can still talk to our loved ones, I do.

I have to say thank you to the OP for asking the question and to those who answered. So many answers described exactly what I am going through after my mom's unexpected death a week and a half ago; prior to that my step-dad died 6 months ago. Thank you for mentioning "the fog, the guilt, the unanswered questions".

I just lost my mom two weeks ago to ALS i to was her caregiver. My mom was my angel i cry every day. For hours.my name is Marcia feel free to message me