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I feel like I am no longer me, like my personality is stripped away. It feels very sad. Hard to sleep at night.

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I think most of us have felt that way from time to time and nearly all of us are different people than before we started our caregiving journey. Part of that is a sense of loss. Our personalities change. Sometimes our hopeful, optimistic side takes such a beating that we feel that it's gone forever. However, we have gained, as well. Wisdom, compassion and strength of character are generally some of what we've discovered are part of our new selves.

That being said, we don't want to completely lose ourselves in our care receiver's illness. Being a caregiver is a 24/7 job, but it still shouldn't completely define us. I hope that you can figure out some way to get some time to yourself so you can - sorry if this sounds too "woo woo" - reconnect to your inner self. Meditate, journal and maybe more importantly, re-connect with a few things you enjoyed prior to caregiving. Realistically, you won't be able to do all that you did before. But perhaps, if you can find some type of help through in-home care, adult day care family assistance, you can find your old self as well as discover and appreciate your new self.

We're with you and we do understand. Please keep in touch so we know how you're doing.
Carol
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Sometimes, I feel that way, like I am fading away, there is no me left. Then i remember that the me I mourn is stronger, more loving, living a worthwhile life. It is hard. You need to find a way to have time to your self, several times a week. Either have a family member take over for a day or pay someone to take ovr your duties, and hopefully a detested job, like clean bathroom or laudry. Building a support team is imperative if you are to go the distance. Good luck
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