I want to take care of mom but sometimes I just want to do something for me. Why do I feel guilty?

Letting go of mom is like letting your kindergartner take the bus for the first time. You worry and fret so much you forget to have a good time. Glad you got out, but relax. She will be OK. If you don't let others deal with her, they will stop coming. I turn off my cell sometimes for an hour when I go take a walk. Nothing will happen that they can't find me walking around our block. Remember," If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will."

Linda

I spent the entire afternoon yesterday with my girlfriend of 30 plus years we had some great laughs and cries but we still enjoyed our time. however, my brother said I called to check on things to many times but I'll get better because I know this is going to be an on going thing for me to get some time away. thanks you guys!

Caring for yourself is one of the most important, and one of the most forgotten, things you can do as a caregiver...
When you do more and more for your loved one, he or she may keep asking for more, making you feel as though you're not doing enough, and this all adds to the guilt and anger, and the real issue is how to handle these feelings. And one of the ways is by taking some time off. Taking a break from caring can help you think things through, relieve stress and tiredness, even taking a few hours off during the day and getting out of the house can make a huge difference... And also giving yourself a day off to feel sad does not mean that you have lost control or that you will not feel positive again. Your feelings are not selfish or insignificant they are just as important as your mom...
If you don't take care of yourself, you won't have anything left to give...

Thank you for the helpful advice. I'm going to pick a day for me and go with it. God Bless!!

It is natural to want a life, and you should have one! Sacrificing your life will only make you bitter in the end. Have a talk with your mother and tell her that you need time. Get someone to take your place. If she says that you are the only one she wants, then she is thinking only of herself and don't fall for it!!!!!!! Church, Senior Services, private care agencies or friends can give you the break you need.

My mom has been with me for 4 years in December. I have hired help to give me the freedom I DESERVE. She has no choice. She pays for it. Many agencies charge a scale according to the amount of hours per week that you use them. Also, medicaid will provide services if her income is low. Look into Senior Services. Call your hospital for numbers or call the Dr. and tell him or her the problem. Many times they have connections. I got my best Saturday night woman from my DR's. receptionist. Her connections brought us a woman who is now family. Good luck.
Linda