My dad has been declining for a few years, but overall was able to get around and was fine. This year he had hand surgery and neglected his physical therapy. He also was having trouble walking, even with a cane (walker is out due to not working on his hand).
Now he has lived alone for year, but after his surgery he stayed with my mom (they are divorced). This of course happened at the height of COVID. Recently he fell twice and she needed help from the neighbor to get him up. After the last fall we convinced him to go to the hospital to be evaluated. They kept him for a few days and recommend therapy for walking and balance.
it’s now two weeks later and he is improving but the staff tells us he can’t live alone. He is a fall risk and he can’t/won’t use his right hand.
Knowing I can’t care for him 24/7 and neither can my mom we are making the decision that he has to stay long term at the home.
Now I feel terrible. He was moved from the hospital to the nursing home so quickly I couldn’t see him. He spent 14 days in isolation due to COVID. Now he is in the normal area but it’s still locked down. They are confined to their room. No community center, or rehab gym. We may start visits next week (we are set for Thursday) but the state could change the rules at any time.
We all know that this is the best decision but I still feel horrible. I can’t go and be with him to make the transition easier. I can’t hug him or shake his hand. I feel like I let him down. Is this normal? Why does the right decision feel so bad?
sorry for rambling, it’s been a long week.