My house really needs to be sorted, ( my house is like poltergeist.. clean one minute,leave for a few minutes and back to the room that was clean...and its all messed up again!). My kids need me as my father and grandfather needs me. My father is getting worse by the day yet the E.R says its just vertigo .. its his heart he says but they refuse to do an angiogram. Yet, I still need a job and has hard as that will be, I feel this is my best option for a respite from all this!
I know I will worry where my son goes all day for care ( I don't have money for a daycare) and who will care for my dad and grandfather..
My grandfather gets mad and says in a upset, mean, sarcastic tone" if you cant handle this just quit tell me". I can handle fixing him breakfast, giving pills and some appointments, cleaning his home too. ( Lunch help would be nice .. maybe dinner too... ) Spending some nights is fine too, but at this point my father is going to need me at night, as I hardly get anytime with my teenager or my dad. Dad refuses hospice ( cant afford caregivers and is on medicare) until he is no longer to walk..but said he will get someone somehow then to help me care for him if needed.. bless him!
My grandfather says I have more then enough time to clean my home, work and everything else! He doesn't realize how much time just one person takes up does he? Also, I am trying to take him to his appts and outings when his twice a week caregiver isn't there so I can have that extra hour or suppose to be three hours when she is there for myself! He gets sooo mad about that and says she can handle the house without him there! Thats not the point! I told him that and he repeats himself about me not being able to handle anything! Plus he always thinks I don't say thank you and appreciate everything he does for us... I DO!!!!
And my grandfather has a new health symptom.. his hands are shaking.. even a little in his sleep but mainly days. He says its just stress and his Dr appt is next month. I dont think so, Im asking the nurse in front of my grandfather!
Well sorry for my very long vent and question if work will give me a boost .. dont want to keep complaining because I do love caring for my family.. I just need some help and I do see this. Im learning from you all that my kids, my father, grandfather in that order ( not everyone at same time as I try) but also me! Past is the past and now its now and the future..