Feeding my mom with Alzheimer's; any ideas?

Every answer here is right bcs no two patients are the same. My mother had double whammy of MS and early-onset Alzheimer's. Same basic downward nutritional spiral with craving for sweets as frequently mentioned. As her disease(s) progressed, we moved to smaller and smaller portions cut into ever-smaller pieces. Ultimately wound up relying essentially on purees which she'd "drink" using a straw. Some days she'd eat (drink) well ... other days, not. In the end, she wound up in a nursing home. They wanted to insert a feeding tube. My father couldn't refuse so he allowed me to make decision. I opted for no tube. After 20+ years of virtual paralysis, minimal cognitive interaction and no quality of life, it seemed horrific to condemn her to another XX years lying in a bed starting at the ceiling. Do what you can but do not be hard on yourself if you can't achieve what you feel are optimal results. Also remember, dying can be a long process but its natural even though our society refuses to accept it. Keep her comfortable but don't fight the inevitable.

Let her eat what she will.

Any calories are better than nothing and quite frankly with Alzheimer's shoot for quality and forget about quantity.

3 months happy eating ice cream 6x daily or 3 years miserable not knowing who is feeding you or who you are?

I'm sorry that your family is going through this awful disease.

I understand how you feel. When I look back on my mother’s behavior I realize she was showing signs well before she crashed with a UTI and was evaluated when she was in the hospital. My mom seldom ate much in the nursing home. At one point, she had lost 12 pounds in a month. They tried to get her to drink Ensure, but that stuff tasted so gross I don’t blame her for refusing it. I tried, at least once a week, to stop at McDonald’s at get her a cheeseburger and fries, which she loved. I also kept her stocked with pudding cups, chips, crackers and chocolate bars. I didn’t worry so much about a “healthy” diet. That was fruitless and that time had passed since she was in her 90’s.

What we were told is let nature take its course. My dad wasn't eating anything and the SNF wasn't waking him up for meals. My mom and I were concerned as if he wasn't eating he would die, but I guess he was dying anyway. We insisted they wake him up to feed him one day and they did, and he threw up, and aspirated. Died later that evening. Not saying this was the real cause, he was on a very downward trajectory anyway. But better to just let his body decide when to eat rather than force food which may aggravate things at least in the short run.

Hdrodlady, It is the most brutal way to loose a loved one.

Thats a good idea with the carnation instant breakfast, will she drink milkshakes? You can always add fruit to get some fiber in her diet. I personally love chocolate and banana, strawberry, pineapple, coconut, peanut butter, mango, oh, I guess chocolate and anything .

If she doesn't like shakes, you can add the ingredients, blend and refreeze.

Try not to get caught up in all the what if's, maybe's and second guessing, just when you think you've got it, it changes.

Focus on safety and wellbeing with out taking her reactions to heart, if she eats ice cream, she is not hungry, if she needs to go to the dr and doesn't want to, oops, sorry you need to mom, you get the idea.

You can do this!
🤗Hugs for all you do!🤗

This might not apply to your situation but if we're feeding mom and the t.v. is on she will not eat.  Once it's turned off it's easier, not perfect but easier.  We have a hard time getting her to open her mouth sometimes and when she drinks she bites the straw.  Can be very frustrating.  I just don't know what we'll do when we can't get her to open her mouth.  She is staying home until she goes to Heaven so we'll definitely be needing more guidance when that time comes.  Regarding sleep, how about some sleeping medicine?  My mom takes Trazadon and sleeps all night.  It's a life saver.  I know some people say NO to sleeping pills but there comes a time when you have to do something.  Not only for her but for your family too.  All my best.

We offered scrambled eggs with cut up bits of sausage then poured Maple syrup on that. She fed herself for awhile then wanted us to spoon-feed, then just got too tired to eat. It's the Alzheimer's/dementia process and difficult to watch but SO normal! Our Hospice nurse explained it's more difficult on the body to take in food/nutrition and eventually water when it's trying to shut down. Dehydration actually acts as a sedative effect, the body's natural way to die. It's hardest on loved ones watching, but this is the point where it's not about us as survivors but about the one preparing to die. Offer whatever sounds good to your Mom .. yes, even ice cream! Our Hospice nurse had a patient that lived on ice cream for a couple months! And when nothing sounds good, let her know that's OK.... and YOU are gonna be OK! 💜

My mother goes thru periods when she doesn't want meals, but asks for chips, ice cream, candy, etc.; that's when I get creative. I make milk shakes with nutritional supplement powder and her favorite ice cream and grind pills to hide in applesauce/pudding with extra sugar/honey to mask the taste. At this point, the sugar is the lesser evil, so I give it to her, sparingly, still making it seem that I'm giving in. We live in a medical marijuana state, so a tincture helps her appetite, and to calm some of her anxiety about eating; all AD patients I've known eventually believe family is trying to poison them.
As bad as it may sound, treat her like a toddler trying to have bad eating habits, sneak in the "good for you" foods

At one point I had a tall skinny 9 year old daughter diagnosed with juvenile anorexia. I told her that proper milkshakes were supposed to have 2 eggs in them, and shops only left them out to save money. It was a success that might help you too!

In my experience with Alzheimers is often times they are looking for a particular taste. Some taste buds stop working before others. I have had residents who only wanted salty tasting foods like puff corn, salty rice, etc. And then there were others that no matter what was served we added something sweet, and they would eat it. Adding brown sugar, honey, maple syrup, putting out a sugar shaker instead of salt, or even ketchup worked. Sadly there is no "key" to what will work, just trial and error. Everyday may be different, and PATIENCE with meal time is definitely key too.