Has anyone dealt with an parent who stays in bed for hours or days at a time? My father does have arthritis in his knees and back and walks with a walker. I understand that walking can be painful. However, his way of dealing with it many days is to take prescribed painkillers (hydrocodones and oxycodones have both been prescribed by his neurologist) and remain in bed. He wears Depends due to periodic incontinence and will often stay in bed until they are soaked. He also has bedside urinals so he does not have to leave his bed to urinate. Bowel movements are infrequent. (Sorry TMI.) I do suspect he is depressed which also contributes to...everything! He lives in the house with my husband and me.
He goes to PT to assist him with strength to get out of bed or up from a chair. Doctors and therapists have encouraged him to move even though it may be painful as they have cautioned him about muscle atrophy.
Most days, he sleeps all day and is difficult to rouse which seems to be making his eating habits irregular. He often will yell or call one of us on the cell phone (even though we may be across the hall or two rooms removed from his) to ask us to bring his meals to him. I know he is probably hungry...but I often feel more like a maid than a daughter. He also told a priest who came to our house at my request to serve him the Eucharist that he often went "days" without eating because we wouldn't feed him. I didn't say anything in front of the priest, but after the Father left, I reminded my dad to say that he was not being fed would imply we had no food in the house which wasn't true. He just expects someone to fix even the most basic of meals and bring it to him.
I don't want him to be hungry, but I feel as if we are enabling him and also contributing to making him bedridden when there is really no reason for it. I question the amount of opioids prescribed, but both his cardiologist and his family practitioner are aware of the prescriptions made by the neurologist.
We have a wheelchair, and he could well-afford a motorized wheelchair. However, he just seems to prefer to be in bed.