Father won't eat and drink enough. What can I do?

Are you able to discuss this concern with his doctor? Are you the Healthcare POA? I'd question if the current aid coming in 3 times a week is sufficient. With your mom's advanced age and disability, it may be that dad needs more around the clock supervision. As the dementia progresses, he may need consistent prompting to do things, like eat or drink. Sometimes, there could just be forgetting, not realizing what the sensations for hungry and thirst are or depression. And then, sometimes, as the condition progresses, the patient's ability to process food slows down, so that even if they eat, their body can't process it and they still lose weight. I'd discuss this with his doctor and ask about options. 

When my LO was in her home, she lost a lot of weight and became dehydrated. I had to beg her to eat and drink.  She seemed to just want to sleep or sit.  But, when she got into a facility and others around her were eating and drinking, she picked it back up and now, even though she has profound dementia, she eats and drinks well.  But, she also went on medication for depression. So, I'd try to figure out the core problem first. 

Has he applied for Medicaid long term care? Has his doctor said he needs a nursing home? I might show up to get things settled or hire a person to attend to it, since you are long distance.

Thanks. They are at their own home, Dad is 90 and Mom 87 without dementia but legally blind. Working on getting him on medicaid but for now, an aide comes 3 days a week for 1 1/2hrs. He's to the point where he's losing a couple pounds per week and now is 122lbs. Urine dark amber from not drinking. I live 20min away but always make sure he has Ensure and drinks next to him.

Are you living with your parents or are they on their own? Most memory care facilities realize dementia residents' needs indicate smaller portions to make completing the meal attainable. Ditto with smaller beverages. They can be refilled but you want your folks to be able to manage the food. The memory care place where my Mom was had 2 -- 4 oz. beverage glasses at breakfast - juice and water. Tea/coffee as well. They refilled any glass that was completed. Another small juice was served in the activity room mid morning. this continued to lunch, mid afternoon break and dinner. Each meal had a variety of food with the hope that each resident would find something he/she would eat. From this experience, I'd suggest small portions, a variety of items and more frequent servings. Another thought --- dementia affects every aspect of life. Sometimes, those with dementia just truly don't know what to do with the meal/beverage. In those instances, you may need to cue them. "Come on Dad, time to eat. Cut some of the food up, place an item on the fork and hand it to him. At the same time, mirror those steps and have him match you forkful by forkful. Good luck.