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I think that takes a lot of nerve, asking you to give up your job and home when you're not even his heir. I don't think I'd want to care for anyone who exhibits that degree of entitlement, or who seems to have so little regard for your needs or your future.

He can leave his money to whomever he wants. But you don't need to give up your life for him either. In your place, I'd just say no.
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Reply to CarlaCB
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Also, it’s not wise to rely on an inheritance as very often elders wind up needing to spend all or most of their money/assets on their care.

Unless one is very wealthy, family members who are giving up jobs and benefits need to be paid for the care they are providing now.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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AlvaDeer Jan 4, 2021
I so agree. The likelihood of being able to care for a senior until death in the home isn't great. And that "inheritance"may be dwindled down to zero in the end. If someone is quitting a job to do this care they should be paid, have the care contract done with an attorney, and report the pay as income
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Two separate subject here.
First of all, who your father is leaving his estate to is irrelevant. It's his own choice.
Second, he need not discuss end of life plans with anyone. He can make his own decisions until he is unable, and at that time the doctors will contact the POA for health care he has chosen or his next of kin (in that order).

As to taking on 24/7 care of a senior, why do you think you might like to do that? Are you ready to give up your job? Is your father ready and willing to pay you the going rate for 24/7 care? (If so do the care plan with an attorney).
We see often on Forum that those who wish to leave their jobs, move in with elders and give 24/7 care end up homeless and jobless and without a job history often enough. Ultimately, however, whether you take on 24/7 care of your Dad or do not is entirely up to you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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You might explain to him that b/c you have no inheritance, it's critical for you to continue working, outside of the home.   Are you sure that you're more or less disinherited?  If so, you could add that it might be appropriate for him to ask the individual(s) who will be inheriting from him.
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Reply to GardenArtist
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You don't share what your father's health issues are, but leaving one's job and home to care for anyone is usually not a very wise thing to do. What will you do for money? Will he pay you(as he should)? Are you ready to give up your life for your father? Are you equipped to provide the care that he needs now and down the road? These are all questions that you need to ask yourself, before making any drastic decisions.
Your father has many options to get the care he needs,(that don't include you) including home health agencies and even moving into an assisted living facility of his choice. So perhaps it would be in your best interest to discuss these options with him, and let him decide which route he'd like to go. Good luck.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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No matter what his last wishes may be or what happens with his money, it would be a huge mistake to leave your home and job. You can offer to help him find appropriate care and choose your level of involvement, a level that doesn’t sacrifice your own well being
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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That is very unreasonable and selfish on his part. Please don’t do it!! There’s hundreds of stories here where people left everything behind for their parent and 99.9% of them regret it,
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Reply to LoopyLoo
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