My father was diagnosed from an Doctor and wrote a letter saying it he would never be able to reverse back to normal.
Turns out he is not Demented nor has alzheimer's disease. Just old age at 89 years old. He almost died in Hospice from my mother who had a brain tumor and we didn't know it. She was over medicating him with many drugs. Was from rehab to assisted living and then lock down memory care units. Didn't like any of the Lock downs and voiced his opinion. They would keep drugging him to the point he was so confused.
Now he is out of all the memory cares and in my home and doing wonderful. Took him to a Neurologist and he is doing some more test and from what he has done so far he said he is not sick at all. He knows what he wants and knows where he wants to live. Big problem is that he lost everything to my mother. She only sends some money to help for him. Not enough clearly since caregivers charge $18-$22 and hour. I was told to get a lawyer for all his loss and pain and suffering. Pus to try to get guardianship away from ill mother. Please give me some feed back. Doctor already said he would back me up...Thank God there is a light at the end of the tunnel for my father. No other family siblings care for my father. It is sad, Because they side for my mother since she has control of the money.

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Jennican, you've got a tough situation.
Daisylady had a good suggestion if your dad was in the military - at his age it could have been during WWII. He'd likely benefit from some services.

It's so sad that your ill mother has caused this issue with money. However, as you say, the gift is the neurologist that sees that dementia is not the issue. Drugs can cause "false dementia" so this is something that everyone has to know about. It's too bad other doctors didn't catch this sooner.

Whatever could have been, you are having to live with what it is right how. An attorney may be the only way for your father to get his share of the money. Since the doctor can back up the point that he does not have dementia, you should make certain the the DPOA is moved to your name if you haven't already done so. The see an attorney to try to get his share of the money.

Thanks so much for joining the community. I hope that you will keep updating us.
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If he files for divorce the assets would no longer be comingled and funny as it sounds that may be the best thing to do ASAP. A formal neuropsychiatric exam would be a very helpful document in addition to the opinions of the neurologist and his primary physician. Neuropsych exams may cost money, but they are very valuable in court cases. Secondly, even with just the letters from the neurologist and a primary care doctor you can go to an attorney and get DPOA for yourself which will likely hold up when contested. Lastly, you cannot get guardianship on a competent person. Trying to get damages for what already happened to him is much less clearcut because he was married, and doctors were involved in continued placement, and it took time to figure things out.
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Sad situation for sure, Jennican. A misdiagnosis is something we all fear, and with drugs to complicate the scenario, how difficult that must have been for your Dad. It's great that you were able to step in and bring him into your home. And if he has no dementia, then he should definitely be involved in what comes next. You say "He knows what he wants and knows where he wants to live." Would that be living with you? Is that what he wants? I'm reluctant to support legal action, because it seems to me that this tears families apart and only the lawyers benefit. If there's a non-litigious course of action, you should look into it first. Your father is very lucky that he has you on his side, that's for darn certain!
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while filing for divorce like one person said might be an option, but remember the other spouse can drag it out for years (I know my friend went thru that). a good attorney, all documentation,etc. and maybe the court will order the wife to be evaluated, sounds like she is the one with some mental issues. good luck and so glad that your father does NOT have dementia or alzheimers.
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There are some hard facts to bear in mind when considering medical malpractice litigation:

1. The state in which this occurred might require that a physician support the diagnosis of malpractice, which means that the physician would have to be willing to testify if the case went to trial.

2. The age of the individual would be considered, what was lost, and what the compensatory damages might be based on actuarial scales. Thus, you would have to identify and list all the ramifications that occurred because of the diagnosis, and it seems as though there are some serious ones that occurred beyond the initial diagnosis, especially with the overmedication and apparent either collusion or failure to confirm the diagnosis by the subsequent facilities that "treated" him.

Lacking legal action though, you can file complaints with oversight agencies.

3. It seems as though the financial abuse which occurred because of the erroneous diagnosis, as well as pain and suffering of your father, would be the primary losses to be considered, as well as any lingering side effects from the erroneous administration of medications.

4. Litigation does not take years in courts managed well. In my experience, courts attempt to push the cases along, establishing deadlines for discovery, pretrial hearings, etc. and trying to keep the case on schedule. There's no question that attorneys can seek to delay with numerous motions, but it's also possible that the opposing party can counterfile on the basis of frivolous complaints. If ordered to pay the plaintiff's (you or your father) court costs, that tends to have a dampening effect on defendant's friviolous motions and attempts to delay.

On the other hand, you would be suing a physician and possibly some facilities. Their insurance defense attorneys do NOT want to drag out cases; it's to their benefit in representation of cost conscious insurance companies to resolve these cases quickly, and they will file the necessary motions to move the cases along.

5. Attorneys look at the bottom line of potential recovery just as businessmen do. An attorney skilled in med mal cases would know the mood of the local courts and judges, and could guesstimate and predict generally whether or not the case would have sufficient merit to make it worthwhile to sue.

People often threaten to sue someone, but it's not that easy or simple. I think the real question might whether or not you want to put your father through a deposition and trial, and the likelihood of what is to be gained. Granted, med mal insurers might settle for nuisance value, so there could be some financial compensation gained from that.

There's also the possibility of filing a complaint with the appropriate medical associations against the doctor who made the erroneous diagnosis.

The second issue is your mothers control of the money. I didn't see that any DPOA is mentioned and therefore assume that your father hasn't created one or that your mother has that designated legal control.

I'm not sure what you mean that your father lost everything to your mother. If there was financial abuse, and it can be documented, it could be that criminal action could be taken against her, with sufficient proof. You'd have to confer with law enforcement on this. In some states, elder abuse is subject to separate statutes, so that's something else to be investigated.

But I would first find a competent and respected elder law or estate planning attorney and discuss your father's financial situation, what he has that can be protected against her, and ask that a DPOA be prepared, presumably appointing you to act in his stead legally and financially. Also discuss what she has confiscated and get recommendations on whether or not the funds are retrievable, as well as how to change co-owners, beneficiaries and any other way to protect the assets from her.
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I am confused. If he is wonderful and normal, why are you paying caregivers $18-22 per hour? Obviously he has some sort of disability that needs attention.
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I agree with daisy lady on checking for veterans benefits. Also your city, county aging services may have guidance for elder care lawyers and living assistance. Online Alzheimers Association - I know he does not have it- but he is at the mercy of someone who does have a brain issue. I wish there was some way to say that I have been touched by your predicament and will be thinking of you often. Hugs and thoughts and prayers seem so commonplace, true, but I always want to say that a person touched my heart like you have.
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My heart goes out to you. You have shown true love for your father and courage in the face of this difficult situation. I hope he was in the military and can file for Veterans Aid and Attendance benefits. It worked to keep my Dad at home for 4 years till he was 94. He had virtually no money and it helped a lot. Time is of the essence with the Veterans Administration, so start on it now. Also, follow the other advice on this site. It's a godsend. Blessings to you and your Dad.
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ThereIsNoTry, You are correct. But if you were frail but clear minded you would not be ruled incompetent by a Judge.
Helpful Answer (2)

To get better feedback from your post clarify the following:
1. Are your mom and dad divorced?
2. You did say your mother has guardianship over your father, correct?
3. You did say your mother has a brain tumor, correct?
4. You did say your mother is ill correct? Clarify her medical issues.

Now, assuming she has guardianship, there are at least 2 issues:
A. If she has a brain tumor or is incapacitated in some other way, if she will not cooperate with you in petitioning the court to remove her from guardian over your dad and be replaced by you, you should petition the court to have her removed arguing her brain tumor or other incapacitation prevents her from adequately handling his affairs and healthcare needs. You will have to present evidence to support this assertion. The attorney will advise you on this. You would ask to replace your mother as guardian.
B. You may want to consider a second alternative: If the current guardianship was deemed needed by the courts due to evidence presented to the court about his condition that you can show was either incorrect or has now resolved due to appropriate care and intervention, you may want to consider petitioning to the court To vacate the guardianship altogether. If he is not cognitively impaired and does not wish to have his rights taken away to make decisions, he and you both can file a joint petition to vacate. Again advice from an attorney is important.

You instead can have your dad name you as DPoA for health care and finances so you can help him. In those papers, assuming the guardianship is vacated, your dad can name you as the person he wants as his guardian should a guardianship be needed in the future.
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