Several months ago I posted that although I am POA and have been taking care of my parents affairs, suddenly one of my brothers is becoming more involved and asserting great influence over my dad. The saga continues...
My mom, 96 is in fast decline and they are currently sharing a room in an LTC. I was only able to get them to go into an LTC 5 months ago so all of this is relatively new. At the time we did the application I, of course, was the contact and at the request of the rest of the family (twin brothers and SIL) I made LTC closer to where my brother and SIL live w/3 year wait the number one choice. (we knew that the number two which they're in was going to be available quickly and they needed help)
So I moved my parents into a place 15 minutes from where there had been living and helped them get comfy. My family lives in Canada and I'm currently living in NY so in order to assist them I was away from my home for 12 weeks only to find that once I left my brother started to make more contact and attempted to get them moved to the place near him (they currently live 3 hours away from my brothers). Suffice to say he could do nothing and was given no information about their files because I was on the application. (and yet I would be happy to share info if he would contact me.)
I was calmed by all the advice I got from all of you, unfortunately things are changing in this last week. On the weekend Dad told me that once mom goes he wants to go live with my brother and SIL.
Here's the problem: my brother is an alcoholic and he gets physical w/his wife. He's chronically late and over-schedules himself. She has just started a new business and is working on it 7 days a week. Did I mention they've currently got a cash flow issue?
Environment is a problem also. Very rural with no neighbors that are yelling distance, both bro and SIL are out from 7:30 am to 6:00 at least. Dad is 91, forgetful and diabetic. And he can't cook.
So I suspect as POA and what's called a Certificate of Competency? from the LTC doctor, I can over-ride any attempts my bros make to take him out to live with them? That said I'm wondering about the future and submitting expenses as POA and Executor? If bro has dad living with him there would no doubt be expenses that he should ordinarily claim. That said, I've accumulated a lot of debt covering car rental for 3 months, being away from home etc. It will be a very small estate and if my brother starts to incur costs too, (keeping in mind my brother would not be out of pocket if my dad stays where he is.) there won't be anything left for our other brother. I hate talking about money but just wonder if monies for expenses would be paid in the order they were incurred??