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Reality, forgetful and can't live alone anymore. Depressed, activities decreased, mad everything doesn't work. He needs something to do and I am limited. How do we get him more active?

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If he has dementia it's going to progress over time. The daughter must be really prepared and understand what caring for him in her home will entail. It can be totally consuming depending on his condition. Many people do it successfully but it turns into a nightmare for others.
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Before selling his home, I would consult with an Elder Law attorney who knows Medicaid guidelines. If there is any chance he would qualify for Medicaid due to his income, I would explore if having the cash from the sale of the home might disqualify him for Medicaid, if he needs Assisted Living or Nursing Home care. They have a cap of $2000. in assets. While his home is exempt, as long as it's under a certain value, if it's sold and there are cash proceeds, that could be a problem. I would find out now where he stands before making any sale.

Also, while he's competent, make sure he has signed his Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare POA and Living Will. They are vital to act on his behalf when the time comes.

I think I would read A LOT about the care of a dementia patient in the home. As his dementia progresses, it can pose a lot of problems. It can be overwhelming for most people, as it's not just a person losing their memory. It's many other things that may occur, such as not sleeping, keeping you awake all night, constantly pacing, constantly repeating, delusions, hallucinations, aggression, wandering (you can't leave them alone at all) incontinence, handling their own feces, eating non-food items, anxiety, confusion, resistance to care, refusing to bathe, falling, swallowing difficulty, chewing difficulty, and loss of mobility. Unless you have in-home help, it's a challenge to handle this around the clock.

My SIL's father was kept in the home with AD. The family vowed to keep him there with some outside help coming in, but he was so difficult to control, even with medication, that they had to have him placed in Memory Care. I would speak to others who have done this and get their personal perspective. I bet you will get other responses here.
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If hes already depressed and you move him to another state....look out......trouble ahead. daughter will be in for the ride of her life so buy a helmet.
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Oh, we did that. Moved Grandma from IL to AZ. She went from bad to worse and it was immediate. The climate change was too much for her. Nothing was familiar. She had to be flown home, first class and admitted to a NH.
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I have to say tha tchicago made a very important point, which is odd, because I personally havent heard or seen that issue mentioned or really approached when ive read about dementia. That really stuck out because, my dad, was catapulted into severe dementia after a newly introduced chemotherapy, he had the tratment.one day, then the day after, my dads mental awareness was almost non existent, and dissipated consistently til it took him from us. I apologize for the somewhat lengthy story but my thought was, it wud be a good idea, to check with a very knowledgable dementia doctor, if they even can, to tell you if a move could freak them out enough to be a risk to worsening the dementia issue and thanks to chicago for sharing that experience, you actually help me get some closure
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MY PRAYERS OUT TO EVERYONE, BEING A PARENT CAREGIVER IS DIFFICULT BEING WORDS, to kattiebar. SO IMPORTANT, don't try and do this alone.I have one sister living 30 mins away, brings zeroanything to the table as far as help in any way, and my mom (whom) I care for now, has a sister barely in the next city that relys on me to take care of any issues that arise, and it sucks, youll need help, support and someone with an empathetic ear that TRUELY cares about YOU.I wish I had better news but a previous comment"it can be a hec of a ride, get you helmet!" Is beyond acurate, dont forget about you!I will pray for your success, strength, and ease in the transition
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You are in a difficult situation. If it generates a few hundred thousand dollars then selling the house could pay for his long-term care in a good facility in Florida. Good facilities will accept Medicaid when the money runs out rather than boot the person out to a county facility. Good facilities often are run by a religious organization or affiliate and are smaller than commercial for-profit ones. My neighbor managed to squeeze 10 years of long-term care out of a $300,000 windfall from selling her mother's house in rural NY and when her mom lived another few years after the money ran out she got her on Medicaid. In my opinion moving father in with daughter is a big mistake for everybody. There are threads about regretting the decision to move mom and/or dad in. I wish you lots of luck!
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