Father remarried at 87 to younger lady, I am unsure of what to do?

If your father is competent there is absolutely nothing you can do. He can change his POA any time he wishes to to anyBODY he wishes to if he is competent. This woman is no spring chicken. She is almost 70. I would attempt to befriend her, if anything. If that isn't possible, and Dad is competent, then yup, I would be handwashing with your sis.

As the last provable financial PoA your sister is the one with the power to go to an elder law attorney and start investigating IF there is abuse. If your father was in his right mind when he married her and moved away, then not much you can do about that. She sounds like a professional predator and by now has probably had him sign new PoA naming her as his representative, changed his will, etc. As the medical PoA if you know he was diagnosed with dementia prior to marrying her, or before he created any new PoA, then you probably have a strong case to pursue but you better act fast as these predators are seasoned and ruthless and will clean him out, sell his house, take the money and dump him at a hospital. Sorry for the drama but she is moving forward with her plans as I am writing this, guaranteed. FYI my family was victim to this same thing.

Well, you were your father's health proxy. How is he? What's his mental and physical condition?

When did they get married?

Call your Father and arrange a visit. See for yourself what's going on before jumping to conclusions. If he is of sound mind, he can marry whomever he wants, as you know. So, before writing him off, as your sister has done, conduct some due diligence and please report back.

See an attorney pronto!!!

Make surprise visits to see your dad, Make sure he is getting fed, getting his meds, and getting out to see his friends and family. If dad appears incompetent, you may need to invoke your POA (get lawyer advice before you do). If you are concerned that his new wife is abusive, report to elder care division of your police department.

Unless she took Dad to the lawyer to revolk ur POAs ur till his POAs. If he is ever deemed incompetent, you can take over. There are postings on this site where this has happened. Children swooping in taking control and leaving the new wife to fend for herself.

Stay involved with your Dad. He needs you probably more than you are aware. Are the powers of attorney still intact? Have you contacted his attorney regarding this issue? What is your father's current mental status? I would make his physician aware of the situation as well. Is there any one in the wife's family that you can contact? I would visit and maintain contact regularly.

When someone is being isolated, there is a good reason. I had a relative whose father went on vacation after death of wife...just to get away. He returned home with a new wife in tow. That new wife isolated him first and then cleaned out his bank accts, sold off hundreds of acres he had owned for decades, and then left him in a box trailer out in the woods with absolutely nothing but the clothes on his back. She paid a local family a couple weeks in advance to feed him and a note to call a phone number when they needed more payments. The phone number belonged to daughter who had no idea where new wifey had taken him. Because he passed the questioning in court regarding his mental status, daughter could not stop the spiral. She had to pick up the pieces and take care of him once she located him living in the woods in the box trailer. Very sad deal.

If any of you still has access to the finances, do what you have to do immediately to prevent her access to those. An attorney, maybe, to stop his/her access for his own financial good. Giving away his money and assets by way of new wife could create issues for him if he needs nursing home care later on. An attorney may be able to investigate new wife for prior issues to show there is a problem.

Get used to your father's absence. I saw this happen to my brother, but my brother and his new wife are in their early 60s. It's all about control, isolation from loved ones and lots of times, it's about money.
Call your father's lawyer and make an appointment. Find out if your sister is still the financial power of attorney. If she still is, make her stick to it and you retain your father's healthcare POA. This is no time to change anything. New wife will not allow it.
My brother's new wife talked him into selling the house he had lived in with his former wife and building another. (No kidding, so she could get her half when they split up). While they were building the new house on the lake lot my bother inherited from our parents, new wife managed to throw away all of the furniture in the old place that was my parents' lake house. She wanted new stuff.
Long story short, they split up, he lost his job, he almost lost the house. He had not spoken to any family (or friends) for the three years he was married to her.
I encourage you to Google and to research, 'Narcissistic Abuse'. It will open your eyes to what is likely going on with your father.
Good luck.

You are in for a roller coaster ride of your life! I almost walked away from a similar situation with my sister, who was in the 1st stages of dementia (but she could still 'pass' as 'normal') when she 'fell in love' with an unemployed licensed lawyer. He moved in to her million dollar home (paid for). And not long after that turned over her finances to him, who was by then her legal Domestic Partner. When I stepped in he was 'taking her to the cleaners'. Yes, she had been lonely, poor judge of character, but also has a very trusting personality, and an easy prey for this younger guy with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Turns out he hadn't worked in over 10 years and had been completely dependent on his previous wife!! We all knew he couldn't be trusted but legally there was nothing we could do, for almost 5 years!! Then he 'messed up' by blocking a good friend of my sister's on her own phone, which really pissed her off! Then a girlfriend did a 'google' search on him and found out he had a $10k lien from the IRS (which is why he couldn't get his OWN credit card, so she had legally put him on one of her's! Then he convinced her 'the more credit cards we have, the more points we get' (false; but my sister fell for it). It was a nightmare!! Opportunist that he was, he dropped her like a hot cake when he couldn't put up with her increasing memory loss and repetition when he found another 'willing subject' to leech/latch on to!! BTW, usually a POA has to be notified if they are being 'deleted'. Is/was your POA 'springing' or 'durable'?? Yes, get thee to a good Elder Law Attorney ASAP! Call Social Services and report suspected Financial Elder Abuse to make an 'unannounced house call' (reporting this is also anonymous). Or, do something I should've done....arrange for a family member (or couple) who 'suddenly needs a place to live' to arrive unannounced and move in with them for a while! If they have a small child with them, all the better! Do ANYTHING to get this leech out of your dad's life!! Good luck, but be proactive! Don't just 'wait' to see what happens; it'll be too late by then! 87-23=64 (not 70). This female leech is still young!!