My father needs 24/7 care. His wife makes all decisions. They have no money and asking for financial assistance without permitting input. ?? Messy finances may not permit getting VA benefits though they have no money except SS which does not cover much. A care taker has been hired (8hrs/day) but is unaffordable and he needs more care and is declining rapidly. The VA gives 1 hr/day. I (daughter) have tried to make suggestions without receptivity. They run a huge negative cash flow and need assistance. Benefit advisors are not helping even though my dad is 94. Family is having to select what to pay for out of their own retirement funds. Geographical distance makes situation more challenging. Aging care attorney cost is prohibitive. They need VA benefits and medicaid immediately but without the 'correct' help, approval is questionable. Now that the doctor has told them he needs nursing facility, she is looking. I have been emailed "there is nothing to discuss. Either I pay the bills or not". Overwhelmed with sadness. Any suggestions as to how to navigate to alleviate stress so my dad can be at peace would be appreciated. One aging care professional advised that we can do little as long as we have no authority. The advise was not to pay for anything. No easy answers but your experiences may provide help. Is there a way he can remain at home with hospice/VA/medicaid?