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My mother can't care for him at home - he's weak, not mobile...and twice her height and weight. If we can't talk him in to rehab, do we have any options?

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My feeling is this if someone refuses to go to rehab. They should be allowed to come home but ONLY if there are no mental issues. By coming home, a caretaker could be available 24/7 or for a few hours so the caretaker could carry on with his/her life. But mental issues - no, then the patient must be put in a safe place.
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You aren't trained to care for him at home. In addition, to the wear and tear it would cause to you as a person. No can do!
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Kristin, what happened with your father? I suspect that what happened is that your father ended up going home, and that you are helping your mother take care of him?

(I hope this is NOT what happened.)
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Grandma1954 is correct in my understanding. The fastest way to get a loved one into a nursing home is when they're at the hospital to tell the hospital that there is no one to take care of them especially if they are a danger to themselves or to someone else or have lost the ability to make decisions for or care for themselves. Nursing homes are in great demand because when your parents live to be at that age, usually their children are also up in age and being a caretaker has been proven to really take a toll on your health so there is no way your mother would probably be able to do it. And if your dad is fighting against rehab this is just the beginning of what he will fight against especially if he feels like he's losing freedom or control over his life.
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If not found incompetent u can not force someone to go to rehab. If he doesn't do the therapy Medicare won't pay. Have him evaluated for Hospice.
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Kristinr, my Mom was in rehab due to a serious fall. Rehab was trying to get Mom to walk/stand, but sadly her head injury caused too much confusion, and at 98 there would be very little healing process.

Mom needed a much higher level of care than what my Dad [also in this 90's] could provide. So we opts for Mom to live in the long-term-care section of the Rehab facility. It was self-pay. Thank goodness my parents saved for all these "rainy days" as it was storming out there.

If finances are an issue, see if your Dad could be accepted by Medicaid, which will pay for his care. But frist one would need to check if the long-term-care or nursing home accepts Medicaid.

Another reason we had my Mom live at long-term-care, it would have been heartsick for my Dad to see Mom in that condition day after day, 24/7. When he visited her, he could only stay a half hour, he would be so upset.

Kristinr, tell Dad if he doesn't go to Rehab, then he would lose his health insurance... sometimes we need to tell a therapeutic lie to get elderly to do what is in the best interest.
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If the person at home can not care for the person being released the hospital can not nor will not release the patient to home. They do not want re-admissions and if the patient can not be cared for or would be in danger at home other placement has to be found.
All your Mother has to do is say she can not care for him.
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My dad doesn't get a vote anymore.
When something bad happens, I have to deal with it
so I'm the Captain now.
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Does your dad have dementia? Is he likely to be found incompetent by two doctors, or is he simply selfish and making poor choices?

You need to protect mom.

You can tell dad that there will be no one home to care for him, since you're taking mom on a cruise.

Make sure that discharge office knows that dad will be returning to an empty house, since you have no intention of catering to his ill advised plan. If they insist that they are discharging him home, ask for them to put in writing that they know that they are discharging a vulnerable elder into an unsafe hime environment.
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The deal is dad doesn't get to say "no, I won't go (to rehab)." His patient advocate (more than likely you) will have to place him there- not in his home where no one is a medical professional.
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Was the dialysis for an acute condition that will resolve or does he need maintenance dialysis 3x/week going forward? If so and he consents he will need to go to an out patient dialysis center. But before that, there are some rehab centers that provide dialysis on site. Talk with his doctors to find out which he will need on hospital discharge. There are social workers and discharge coordinators in the hospital that will help you plan his care. The rehab will provide dialysis until he recovers somewhat and gets his strength back, even if it takes a month or two. Good luck to you. 
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Thank you for the kind words. We are going back to the hospital tomorrow to talk to the doctors again. We are hoping they will talk to him along with us. So far he says no. I'm afraid we will have to look in to guardianship...
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Dear Kristin,

Sorry to hear what is happening with your dad. Can the hospital staff help your family talk to your dad about his options. Can they offer home care? Advice on hiring a caregiver for your dad? Or have your dad talk to a social worker? I hope you can find the right options and care for your dad and mom.
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