My father had a foot ulcer that got complicated by a less than competent Dr. He had an amputation which healed but soon after an adjacent area got infected and that point the Dr. said he should have a below the knee amputation because he had osteomyelitis. He also said he would probably need to have the other leg amputated too. Father refused and said he would rather die and was adamant about not wanting to live anymore especially with no legs.
(My father is generally extremely sick and has been for the last 10 years, he has every possible D.M and smoking complication you can think of and after a recent hip replacement he was almost bed ridden but would sometimes be able to walk while assisted.)
Anyway it's been 2 months- he hasn't died and his condition has become increasingly poor. He slips in and out of consciousness and he is incredibly frail. I don't know what to do. Should I go ahead with the amputation despite his wishes? All the people I know with cases similar to my father's have needed to keep having amputations till eventually they died after several years with almost no legs.
I don't know what to do....Having him home slowly dying but not really dying is taking it's toll on me and I'm starting to feel guilty about not really pushing for an amputation when he refused it before everything got this bad. He has been on antibiotics and a special wound vacuum pump, his blood picture is getting much better, but his general health id getting worse
I can't even have a conversation with him anymore- it's like he's gone but he is still breathing. And today the whole room started smelling- I went to another Dr. today- he said give him two weeks or so to get stable and put him on more antibiotics because he is too sick for surgery at the moment. I think he is hoping he will just die in the meanwhile.
I am lost, frustrated, guilty, tired and depressed.
If the amputation will not improve his life then why go through that torture?
You have done everything you could possibly do at this point. Just support his decision now. As Alva and Barb say, hospice could help him at this point. They offer pain management, also a social worker and chaplain if desired.
The slow amputation of a diabetic's limbs is sickening and sad. I have a friend whose DH took 4 years to slowly, bit by bit, disappear. I don't know why he fought so hard to stay alive, it was no life at all--and in the end, his family has essentially deserted his wife (their mother) over this.
The smell is something you'll never forget....I don't know if it's gangrene or what. Please, for yourself and for dad's better QOL, move him to a FT care center and start thinking about Hospice or at least, palliative care. Sounds like he is really sick and miserable.
I would also admit him to a skilled nursing facility where the hospice care can be accessed.