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My father is mentally disabled due to a work accident 25 years ago. He can communicate, but has terrible mobility, anxiety, and depression. He can not take care of himself. He lived with his mother until her death and then some vultures moved in. I finally got them out his life and rescued him. He then moved into my home. I have a wife and two young daughters. I work a full-time job and my wife stayed with him during the day. My father has these manic episodes where his temper goes through the roof and you can not rationalize with him. He makes demands and expects you to carry them out even if they are ridiculous. This has happened twice and we have had to place him in a psych ward.


He has a history of suicide attempts and has been labeled with bad behavior at clinics. He is in a short term psych ward for placement and has a phobia of nursing homes. My plan is to place him in a care facility that will take him and hopefully he will be able to move from max security to a lighter security portion of the facility. It is difficult, but feel this is the best for him. He has recently got violent with my wife and i. It hurts, but my feelings are it may be best for him to get placed by the short term clinic and see where that gets us. Mental illness is a terrible thing and hope he can turn it around. Any words of encouragement?

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You sound like a very caring and dutiful son. And have done everything in your power to ensure his safety and comfort but things are escalating. I know your father means no harm but getting violent with you, your wife or kids eventually is very worrying. I know us adult children go through so much guilt about doing the right thing, but for your family's safety I think a care facility is the right decision. From what you are saying, you would continue to visit him there and ensure he is being looked after properly. I know its much easier said than done, but you have done your best for your dad and its ok to let him go to a care facility.
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Thanks for the kind words. I live in a small town, so will be placing my father 1-2 hours away for better care. By no means will I abandon him and I know I'm fighting a mental illness. His behavior in my home is not healthy for anyone and my kids don't fully understand. I plan to see him as much as I can but anticipate it to be 1-3 weekends a month. I hope he can be rehabilitated as the abuse did not help him out.
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You've taken all the necessary steps to ensure your dad's wellbeing and the safety and peace of your family. I think your dad is in good hands with you.
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