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Hello, I just had to put my father in a nearby nursing home and he is simply 'hating life'. I visit him 3 times a week and stay for a good amount of time and bring him lunch or ice cream, whatever he likes. He recently had a fall in the middle of the night and needed stitches on his head (not the fault of the nursing home)....since then I THINK he's found a way to leave the nursing home by requesting to go to the ER. He said he thinks he broke his rib and went again to the ER a couple of days ago (no broken bones, but they checked that during his initial fall) and today he is complaining of chest pain so they are transporting him via ambulance to the heart hospital. The nursing home says that if he passes the cognitive test that they have to send him if he's requesting to go to the ER, so they are not liable in the long run. I know it may seem innocent enough, but I know my dad. My question is, how many times can my dad do this? I foresee him continually requesting to go to the ER. By the way, he is on Medicare through his SS. Thank you in advance.

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I can't believe it. My dad fell the other day and got stitches. And is constantly, I mean constantly requesting an ambulance. Only difference is I don't have him in a nursing home, yet.
Anyway t. M. I. I know but my answer comes with a question.
First , like the other person said if he likes the attention then let him have it. Just be sure to communicate with the E. R. staff as to not let him be discharged without your consent. Then they will call you and usually you can request an ambulance take him home.
Now question, why is it so hard to get my dad into a nursing home that isn't 3000 dollars a day. Lol
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Dad may go to the ER.

There is no reason for you to show up, is there?

If he enjoys the attention of the ER staff, let him have it.
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My father LOVED the ER. I used to refer to it as Club Med. When he was in AL he went very often. Then the place caught on and restricted what he was going for so he would just claim he fell and hit his head which means they had to send him. I never saw a person who loved going to the hospital as much as he did. He just loved the constant attention.
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Fawnby Feb 2023
My mom loved the ER too. What better way to get your family focused on you! And the nice young doctors to flirt with! OMG, the memories…..
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Most people hate the ER but maybe he's attention seeking? Have you tried to talk to him about this? Tell him to cut the crap. The ER is for when you have a life threatening situation, not for entertainment type of convo? Maybe the nurses and/or EMTs can also try to tell him not to abuse the system.

Parents can be so darn difficult. It's like they're always coming up with something new to keep us on our toes!

Good luck.
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It really isn't in your hands to decide how many times. It is too much responsibility for you to take on when you cannot know if this is a real injury or the little boy calling "Wolf, wolf". You and the nursing home all have to honor his wishes if there is the possibility of serious injury. I am afraid this is one of those things that falls under "Not everything can be fixed". It will eventually be up to the ER to look at the records and have him transported back home. I sure wish I had a better answer and I cope someone else does.
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Just to clarify, Medicare is a separate program than SS. So, is he on Medicaid (which pays facilities from individuals' SS income)?

Has your Dad never heard the folkstory of the boy who cried "Wolf!"?

If the NH kicks him out, then where will he go? Does he think he knows the answer to this (or is hoping to go live with you)?

If he's on Medicaid I would ask his social worker this question.
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Cinot7me Feb 2023
Yes, you're right I forgot. It is Medicaid that pays the NH. I don't know what he thinks, but he was with me for four years and the only reason I moved him into the NH is for his safety (he can hardly walk now) as he was falling down all of the time and we lived alone. I have my own medical issues and only stand 5"1 and weigh about 130 lbs. I didn't know a NH can kick a resident out because he are requesting to go to the ER all of the time, I thought the doctor would step in at some point and either dissuade this behavior or put a stop to it....thank you for your response. I'll reach out to his social worker if this happens again in the near future.
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