My 94 year old father's health and faculties are largely intact, but he is experiencing a bit of a decline as of late, and I am trying to ramp up the support I give him. The thing that is getting in the way is that we have never really had much of a relationship, and he has always been distant, controlling and manipulative, and it's now getting to the point where is it beyond funny. My father is always saying I am under my husband's domination, that he took me away from my religion (I did that myself at 13) and has told me today that he could see my husband was not of good character as he once was a cap inside his house.
I don't want to be more resent-filled than I am, so I have tried to say what is not acceptable to say to me, but he had outright said he has every right to say whatever he likes, made a veiled threat and said he was making a formal complaint about gaining access to his granddaughter, who he sees fortnightly. Any tips?