My father was placed on hospice 3 months ago because he has congestive heart failure (2 arteries 80 % blocked and 1 artery is 100% blocked) he was too weak to have a heart catheterization. And because of years of mismanaged diet his diabetic kidneys were in ESRF. (He left the hospital with a kidney function at 12.) He has high blood pressure, as well as mesothelioma, COPD, and sleep apnea. He is now totally bed ridden,
He is on hospice for his heart and has a DNR. He is not on dialysis. My mother and I both care for my father but we do not agree with one another on any of his care. My father has expressed to me that he does not want to die. He has told me that he wants to beat this. I have promised to help him. So now I am butting heads with both my mother as well as his hospice. The issue I’m looking for clarification on is the attitude his hospice has. He is not on dialysis because his hospice tells us that is preventative and they do not cover that. He is on hospice because of his heart. We are unable to afford medical transportation to the dialysis center. My argument is simply that with the exception of his cancer, all other issues are related. His diabetes has caused his heart issue. They now cover his insulin but still will not budge on the transport to an from dialysis. I have managed to raise his kidney function to 19 now, and am fairly certain that with diet we may be able to get him strong enough to have the surgery and may not need the dialysis.
His most recent challenge is he has a bowel blockage. We know it’s a bowel blockage because this is nothing new to us. In the past year he has been hospitalized at least 11 times needing his stomachs pumped because of the blockages. The most recent trip was 4 days ago. He hadn’t had a BM for 4 days and woke up in considerable pain and vomiting. Because hospice told us to call them rather than an ambulance, my mom called hospice. The nurse came and after about 30 minutes of trying to get him to hold down Myralax she called the ambulance. They transported him to ER and followed them to hospital. She made it there before we did. When we got to the hospital we immediately noticed they had not treated his pain, and had not done the EKG. No tube down his throat. Nothing that they normally do. I had to insist his pain be treated, and insist they do the EKG. ( his BP reading was 218/98) after a couple hours the dr came in and told my mom he was being discharged. I questioned why she said he did not have a bowel blockage he was only constipated. Despite having to give him a shot to lower his BP and Dilaudid to manage the pain. They said he does have a UTI and sent him home with antibiotics. 3 days later hospital called to say they prescribed the wrong kind of meds and to pick the correct kind at Walgreens (they had called the right stuff in)
Now he is going on the 8th day no BM. He eats 3 times a day but nothing’s coming out. Hospice called this morning and told mom to buy some suppositories. Said she would administer it when she comes. He gets 2 stool softners a day on top of myralax everyday. He just drank a ton of magnesium stuff none of which are producing anything more than a very small amount of gas.
I am furious because from where I’m standing it appears that every single person on his team is totally incompetent. I happen to think that 8 days without a BM is an emergency. My mom believes hospice is doing good because they are trying to be so helpful with the follow up calls and going to the store to buy what he needs out of pocket. I pointed out to her that Dad is money to them. Even Ted Bundy smiled to gain his victims trust. To me that means nothing. I could be wrong. I’ve made it clear I don’t trust their opinions. Simply because we’ve literally had to beg them for everything he has. Am I expecting too much? Too close to this to be objective? I feel like I’m the only one who wants him to live except for him. But it could be stress. Would appreciate a fresh set of eyes.