I just discovered my dad has been sending money and buying lavish things to a woman abroad meanwhile doing the bare minimum to care for his wife who has alzheimers. He only cooks for her and gives her medicine and that's it. He has admitted to hittine her in the past as well. She is still mobile but sits in front of the TV all day. Unfortunately I live far from them and can't offer much help although I've tried city elder care services which he has denied. I know he's lonely and needs companionship. I personally wouldn't mind him having the companionship, as I know it's hard being around my mom sometimes, if he cared for his own wife and spent money to put her in the proper facilities such as adult day care or accept the services, just like he does for this other girl. Unfortunately he doesn't give her the care she deserves so I am now looking to see if divorce is an option so that I can provide her with the proper care. Any advice?

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DaughterInDC, you need to make an appointment to see an Elder Law Attorney. Depending on what stage of Alzheimer's your Mom is in, and if she can understand legal documents, it could be very difficult to obtain a divorce.

Just curious, has your Dad met this "woman" who he has been sending money? I bet he hasn't. I wouldn't be surprised if he's being scammed by a "catfishing", a person who pretends to be someone else and eventually asks for money and gifts. The person could be a man.

If you check out Dr. Phil's old shows on the Internet, and put into the search on his website "catfishing" you could get more information and possibly see the numerous shows. Of course, your Dad will say this isn't true, that the lady is real, yada, yada, yada.
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