My father is completely inconsolable, threatened suicide (was hospitalized for 4 days). Will rehab facility take him for his emotional breakdown?

JD, thanks for the update. I hope that the geriatric psychiatrist is able to offer some help and guidance. It must be heartbreaking to see your parents struggling and so emotionally devastated.

I guess some hospitals have psych wards on a floor and others do not. Those are the places where people who are suicidal are place to be medicated, monitored and evaluated. That usually takes about 7 days, but in some cases can take as long as two weeks.

I am glad that he is getting psychiatric care. Seeing a therapist might do him some good also. The combination of meds and talk therapy work very well together!

He is getting psych care now. I also have an appointment now scheduled with a geriatric psychiatrist that deals with Alzheimers patients and caregivers. WHO KNEW THAT EVEN EXISTED? I have my mom scheduled as well.

Rehab is for physical therapy. Your Dad needs psychiatric evaluation and treatment. Get him on an even keel before you move him anywhere.

It's a tough situation. I can't imagine going through this, but I'm not sure that you can bargain with mental illness. Your mom is somewhere that she can be care for. That's great.

Your dad sounds like he still needs lots of care. I'd keep his doctor in the loop. I'd discuss the treatment and living options with his doctor, since he still seems so fragile. I'm not sure how you expect your dad to help your mom when he is so ill himself right now. I don't know him, but keep in mind that being around a person with dementia is very stressful. They don't know how much they are repeating, questioning, begging and demanding. They may forget what happened 5 minutes ago, so it's often constant repeating. This can be very difficult. I'm not sure how your dad would handle that. It's tough on people who don't have mental health issues. You know him well. I'd discuss it with the family and doctor and see what sounds reasonable.

He was in the hospital for 4 days due to wanting to die because he couldn't handle seeing my Mom like this. I have a call into his family physician because I am very concerned. I have considered that they should be in the same facility with him in assisted living and Mom in memory care. The facility mentioned they had a double bed assisted living unit but I think it is just too much for him to even see her like this. I am at a loss. I know we all grieve in our own way but I am having a hard time how he can't see that she needs him right now. She knows us. She asks for him when he doesn't come to see her. I am getting angry with him and feel bad that I am. But, Mom needs US.

I might make sure that dad is under a doctor's care and that they know of his comments and behavior. I'd inquire about hospital care until he can be stabilized.
He may want to be near his wife, but with such a fragile state of mind, I'd be concerned with his stability. If mom is progressing quickly, it might be a lot for him to see her everyday and what if she clings to him. Patients with dementia can be unpredictable and agitated. How would your dad react to this? That might be a lot of pressure. I'd ask for advice from the doctors about where he might gain the most in his recovery. It sounds like he may still be shock.

Have you contacted a suicide prevention hotline?

I can't answer your specific questions as I don't have insight into these issues, but I'm wondering if you mother is appropriately living in an AL facility given the RPD diagnosis. If this is the primary cause of your father's intense destabilization, perhaps it would be better if the two of them are together; he could at least feel as if he's caring for her then.

If the medication isn't working, see a geriatric psychiatrist and raise the issue of a different med.

I hope others have more insight than I do. This must be a heartbreaking situation for you.