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(my husbands stepfather) He has been diagnosed by four doctors with Dementia/ Alzheimer's. His kids talked him into divorcing his wife after 43 years of marriage. And took him to an attorney and had them made POA the day after he was diagnosed incognitive by a Psyciatrist. Three days after the divorce was final, they moved him out of an assisted living facility and into an apartment to live by himself. They haven't had anything much to do with him all of their lives except to ask for money and at Christmas. They said he had been doing really good lately. They just want his money. Those of us that are not in denial and have done our research on the disease know that it comes in waves, but can change at any moment. They told him he could walk across the street (four lanes of traffic) to go eat. What can we do to protect him?

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Daughter in law should not be visiting as APS rep - appeal to supervisor
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Sorry, but just to be clear. Is the wife your husband's mother?
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His dil is the home visitor for APS! His children took him out of assisted living that he was paying $3600 out of his SS and his pension which totals $4500 a month. And moved him into a $700 apartment. Which leaves plenty for the children to benefit from. He became angry with his wife because of the lies his kids were telling him and wanted her to get out of the home, sell all of the furniture. The nursing home called her and told her that he said he was going to kill her on two occasions. So yes, his wife became scared of him and agreed to the divorce. She had filed for guardianship and withdrew it because his kids were causing such a stink. She now has $960 SS per month to live on.
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Is the wife he divorced after 43 years of marriage your husband's own mother? What position has the divorce left her in?
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Visit him often where he is. Show love and respect. Don't belittle the decisions his children made in front of him. Avoid the topic of the divorce and the living situation. Unless the situation is criminally neglectful or dangerous there probably isn't a lot you can do, except continue to love and support him emotionally.

He is still your husband's dad and your fil. Focus on him, not his biological children. Accept what you can't change and make the best of it.
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Whoa, how on earth did the Step-father get a divorce after 43 years?... it takes two people to accept the divorce, husband and wife. Was your husband's mother in favor of this divorce?

You mention the bio children of the Step-Dad were able to get Power of Attorney with the father giving approval. That can happen as someone with memory issues can still have clear moments where they can understand a legal document.... it is up to the attorney to verify that Step-Dad knew what he was signing.

There was no mention of changing a Will. Was a new Will created? If not, I wouldn't be surprised if your husband's Mother is still in the Will, and especially after 43 years of marriage she would inherit everything.

That is so very wrong to move a person from Assisted Living into an apartment to fend on their own. Something needs to be done about that immediately. People with Alzheimer's/Dementia do NOT get better as you already know. You are correct, it can come in waves. Next thing the children will find that they would need to hire 24-hour care which is MORE expensive then living in Assisted Living.

So sad the father is being used as pawn in this situation.
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I'm not sure how the adult kids are going to make money from the situation. But, if you feel strongly about his welfare being in jeopardy, you can report the matter to adult protective services and/or consult with an attorney about filing a Guardianship petition in court. You don't have to volunteer to be the Guardian. If needed the court can appoint the County's social services or a professional Guardian to handle his affairs and healthcare decisions. An experienced attorney could provide you what you need to prove the case and practical advice about it.
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Probably not a lot. If you are certain he is a vulnerable person you could contact APS to voice your concerns and ask that his situation be assessed.
And the joke's on his kids, in my opinion. They have volunteered to be responsible for him in the hope of future gain, but unless he dies suddenly he will likely outlive his savings.
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