My FIL is 81, lives with his wife, is very active and very strong. He has mentally declined in recent years and has become extremely angry, agitated, demanding, and controlling. He is a Vietnam vet and was an army ranger helicopter pilot in Vietnam. He has always been hard to deal with but is much worse now. He has farms all over the US and with the help of my husband maintains them quite well.
My husband is 60 and we run our farm and both work. My husband is very dedicated to his parents and help them on their farm 2.5 hours away weekly. My FIL is always dissatisfied with my husband, even though he does a great job for them, and constantly chides him on how awful he is. (By the way my husband has a Masters degree, worked in a management position for the last 20 years, recently retired from that position with a full pension).
This past week my FIL started a fist fight with my husband (he was upset about something trivial that had nothing to do with my husband). My husband had been working on my FIL farm all day and his Dad started attacking him when he arrived at the barn. My husband refused to fight him and kept pushing my FIL off of him and his Dad kept trying to punch him. He did finally punch my husband a few times and a friend pulled them apart. My husband decided it was time leave.
My husband is on his way home now. They were working a farm about 1600 miles from our home. He drove up there just help his Dad.
What can we do about my FIL? He gets angry if we try to talk to him. My husbands siblings think it's no big deal. They don't help out on the farms and really don't see him much. My MIL says she just wants to keep her husband happy and we should do whatever he demands. I feel my husband needs to stay away from his parents and just take care of ourselves and our kids. My husband will keep going back and I'm afraid someone is going to end up hurt or worse. What can I do?