Follow
Share

My wife(66)goes over at 730am, 7days a wk to cook his 8 course breakfast he insist on . Then we r back daily at 530pm to fix his din. ALL he talks about is "his" rats in the attic and also "visiting" his day and night! We have had pest control out a number of times with NO rats found, nor any signs. We explain that there r "NO" rats, he goes "ballistic" and starts yelling, which he does daily about everything! He absolutely refuses to hear anything about assisted living and becomes "mean", not just about these subjects, but anything in his life! We are about at the end of our patience. We gave up retirement n Florida to come back and take care of her dad since she is an only child. What do we do with this "man"........we r at a decision time and need HELP??

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
lwickm9672, take your Dad-in-law to see his primary care doctor and have them run an urinary tract infection test [easy, pee in a cup]. Such infections can make elderly see and hear things, become unusually upset, etc.

I remember when my Dad said he was seeing ants on the wall and ants in his food. His caregiver took him to the doctor, and sure enough it was UTI. Once the antibiotics started to kick in, the ants disappeared.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

So, to cut the bottom line, do you both realize that this is NOT age related decline? This is disordered thinking, possibly caused by dementia. He needs, urgently, to be seen by a geriatric specialist. He needs meds for agitation.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I would say stop arguing about the rats. You made sure there wern't any, and to him it is an explanation of something he is hearing or feeling. You say "no rats" and he hears "you're imagining things and losing your mind." So, he yells. He almost certainly has dementia if he is this irrational, unless he is really very severely depressed. Has anyone gotten at least a POA for finances and for healthcare? Is it possible it is time for a guardianship? I take it though that he is reasonably safe to be left alone at home during the day?

One of your options is to arrange or try to arrange for in-home caregivers so that you can get a break from this. If he is OK to be on his own he could choose between not yelling at you two when you come to help vs accepting some outside help instead, because you are not going to stick around and be yelled at daily (OR fixing his own meals, of course, if he can.)

You may really need a good comprehensive geriatric evaluation to address his actual state of mind and safety, as well as help you decide on your options.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

why does he think he has rats? is he hearing the wind or something in the attic? Have you tried telling him the pest controll "got " them, and they are gone? Does he have some form of dementia?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.