How can my elderly father-in-law direct his urine flow if he cannot find, or see his penis?

Does he sit down to pee? That became the only sensible way for my husband!

No, he stands. Whien your husband sits to pee, does he use some sort of deflector?

No, he just pushed his penis down so he peed in the toilet. (He never had a problem finding any of his body parts.) It took some transition time to arrive at this point. We switched to a style of undies without an open fly (and I sewed the fly shut on older ones), to help him remember to pull them down and sit down. (He had dementia.) Perhaps your FIL would be more receptive to having his son coach him on this than for you to do it.

I would say that if you can't get the dear old man to master this skill, then perhaps he needs to be accompanied on each trip to the bathroom.

Ah, the indignities of getting old. :(

Thanks so much for your response. Yes, my husband does all the personal hygiene stuff with his Dad - showering, dressing, etc. Dad lives with us, but he stays alone during the day while we are at work. (I leave late and my husband gets home early, and a family member comes by every day and feeds him lunch and visits for a bit.) Otherwise Dad is fine on his own. He still able to get around - with his walker, and he usually doesn't require any help with his bathroom breaks. Training him to sit to pee though may be a bit of a challenge, because he is getting a bit forgetful lately. But it does sound like a great solution, if he can master it. And yes, my husband & I have both learned so much in the 10 years his Dad has lived with us, as to what to expect in our later years. And unfortunately, most of it is not pleasant. :( Thanks again for your helpful advice, and for sharing your experiences!

Yup, gotta sit down.

Thanks for your response. The answer is so simple, I don't know why we hadn't thought of it. I hope we can re-teach him to actually do it though. Thanks!

A strategically placed mirror at the proper angle above the toilet will enable him to see his old buddy again. Happy Reunion!

Hahaha! Good idea there too! Thanks!!

As long as he doesn't try aiming for the mirror! LOL (Sorry, just had to throw a little levity in there.)

Also, if you put in a raised toilet seat (which will make it easier for him to get up from the toilet), he would be peeing against that if his wee willie winky doesn't point down enough.

We had this same conversation a while back on another thread and had some hilarious posts going back and forth. I'll find it and link it in a minute. :)

Here you go: https://www.agingcare.com/questions/appliance-to-help-a-man-aim-163884.htm

Wow! I had no idea they even made elevated toilet seats! This is great, because my husband tried having Dad sit to pee last night, and it was a nightmare of a mess. But this seat should do the trick! I just ordered a Medline one with handles from Amazon. Thank you! Thank you!

Good, let us know how it works out for you!! We all learn from each other.