My 88yr Father-in-law is being used by a neighbor younger than some of his grandchildren. How can I help him?

The problem is that old men and old women are not immune to flirting and manipulation. Even the most aware of us can be taken advantage of at some point, but to use an old person that has limited funds and take their only support from them is despicable in my eyes.

a 30 something girl could probably scam my change jar, its mostly nickles but if she touched the bolts and spark plugs id get medievil on her ass.

Mom had a neighbor that used her as her personal atm machine and grocery store. She "borrowed" Mom out of thousands! I caught on quick when I moved in to take care of her and put a stop to it. Luckily for me, the brother that supports Mom financially is a LAWYER. When I told him she was scamming Mom's money...he said " You mean MY money."......Yep. We have not heard from her since "our little talk". Call the police or a lawyer. They know what to do. Usually a calm, informative, phone call from an authority figure, explaining simple laws and law SUITS will do the trick.

Call the police immediately. Theft, fraud, elder manipulation...... police officers take these matters and issues seriously. Don't be afraid to involve the police. This is their job!!

If it is theft, call the police. If she took things without his permission while he was not even there, it is theft.

Adults are supposed to take care of themselves, except in emergencies. I am dealing right now with a friend who gets around this by keeping herself and her family in a continual state of crises - car out of commission - broke my finger and no money for meds - special needs child had a fainting spell or terrible pain so had to go to the ER and miss the job interview (ER finds absolutely nothing wrong) - had the job interview all set up but no money for gas - on and on and on, always to get money or favors of some kind. This neighbor will be a leech as long as she can get away with it. If you do not take firm action, it could get worse, much worse. Just look around on here for the stories about someone being able to convince an elderly loved one and then the authorties that the family is not doing right...and then sucking them dry and/or claiming all the inheritance while the family stands by helpless.

Getting him to make you DPOA now does not mean you start using that power while he is competent, but it does offer at least a little protection in that if he is ever not competent it cannot be legally changed as long as DPOA duties are being handled faithfully. Not that it will stop some people from forging documents or otherwise getting it changed inappropriately...it is not like a light swtich one day someone is competent and has enough judgement not to do something stupid and fall prey to a victimizer, and the next they could be talked into anything on the slightest suggestion and are ready for guardianship proceedings. I hope you can get Dad to realize how dangerous people like this can actually be and get the restraining order or take the most serious steps you can justify to keep her out of your lives.

vw9729 we have found out here in PA even if you have dpoa he can still spend his money how he wants until he is shown incompetent..hope this helps ...

Unless he has some sort of cognizant problem (i.e. Dementia, Alzheimers, etc.), there's not a lot you can do about it. It's your father-in-law's money and he can do whatever he wants with it, unfortunately. I suggest your husband (his son) talk to your father-in-law and see if he wants help with this situation or with managing his finances. If he does, someone should get Financial and Medical Power of Attorney as soon as possible and place a stop to this by allowing your father-in-law to only have a small amount of cash on hand and no checkbook available to him. Good luck!!

Something else that scares me is that just because someone works for a home health agency, doesn't mean they are honest. I have know people that were taken for a ride by those that were paid to take care of them.

Fortunately my mother would rather I worry her money because of her memory so I have total control of her money. That still doesn't mean she won't give a total stranger her SSN number. She always says she wouldn't but I have caught her doing it.

I would report the thefts she made while he was in the hospital, to the police, and let them know that she is continuing to manipulate him. They may not be able to do anything but it may help in the future. I would also suggest reporting her behavior to Adult Protective Services (which is a part of Department of Human Services and there is usually at least one in every county). Also, if you are acquainted with any of your other neighbors, I would suggest enlisting them to let you know immediately when she comes around so that you can either contact police or head her off at the pass before she gets inside of your father-in-law's house. Also, is he getting home health services? If not, he is probably eligible for some care at his age (you don't know until you contact them). If he has Medicare, it will pay for home health care. With people coming in and out of the home regularly; she would be less likely to try and manipulate him, especially if you made the home health care agency aware of what she is doing. She will continue her behavior unless you take stronger action. My prayers are with you.

Isn't to much you can do unless he is found imcompetent.

How old is this man? Suggest that you take him to have his will done..along with POA and DPOA for whomever should have that designation? His son...your husband? You? This will take the money out of HIS sole control. Can you reason with him and let him realize he's being used? You have to have the law on your side in order to have any grounds against this user woman.