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He seems to be slipping into a mild form of dementia. I need help. He has not showered sense 2013, baby wipes is all he uses. I cannot get him to eat regular food an any schedule. He slips between calmness and agitation frequently. He has the opinion that he is of the utmost importance and if he does not receive attention when he feels it due him he goes off and a tirade. He pees in a can beside his bed instead of walking the length of the kitchen to the bathroom. His conversations are choppy and he forget, not what he wants to say, but how to say it. I have talked with his primary care doctor about a mental assessment and as dad knows when his appointment are, he prepares mentally of what he is going to talk about. Therefore the doctor sees no reason for such testing. Dr. Weisberger feels dad is going great for his age and believes dad just needs more exercise to ward off muscle atrophy. I have been caring for my dad full time as of 2012 and am beginning to realize he needs to have assisted living or someone who can take my place allowing me to return to my wife and children in New Hampshire.

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I will. I did see his doctor today, actually the receptionist and a nurse. They rescheduled his appointment until the 12th. That gives them time to give the doctor a heads up and will also include a pre-Gould assessment. Things are beginning, to move, maybe!
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Good luck to you. Keep us updated.
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Is there any way you could videotape some of his more "off the wall" behaviors? Email them to the Dr ahead of the appt.
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Your info is very helpful. He does have an appointment on the 9th with his primary care. I will talk up dads condition once more. I am also in contact with the Grace ho9me in Harrington about open space.
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Btw I had to find an assisted living place for my dad. The va could only put him on a list. If he does have Alzheimer's that condition can become a nightmare quickly. If he gets agitated easily consider if he does have Alzheimer's that it will only get much worse. More aggressive more physical. If you would like help from my experience I will give u my email and then my phone number. I didn't have anyone to give me answers ahead of time, but I am more than willing to share with you what I know about the va and Alzheimer's and dementia.
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Social worker to be assigned to him (which will help down the road) he could get benefits assigned to him but they will also come to the house and interview him and then u alone. My dad had severe alheizheimers and was very aggressive. Which sounds like where your dad might be headed. Alzheimer's and dementia usually go together. A social worker will be part of a team that will come to the house if necessary. Ss if your dad was ok you would not have to take care of him. My dad tried to do the same thing with the doctors, but it wasn't till I got involved that they finally did something and agreed with the diagnosis. I had to step up and take control. The sooner you do that the easier it will be for you in the long run and the social workers will help you have a plan. It's hard and so very tough but doing nothing now will bring so much heartache for you later when your choices will be few.
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I never could get my dad into Th va nursing home as it was always full and I had to put him somewhere. But if you contact the va and ask for a
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Felidae, He is a veteran of WWII but he cannot get into the veterans home until he is diagnosed with Alzheimer's or Dementia. Even though he show beginning signs of Dementia the doctors are fooled into not doing so because Dad plans his appointments and what he is going to stay on topic about. That is one of my issues with the medical doctors around here.
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Is he a veteran? If so that is the first place to start. Get a counselor assigned and they can take it from there.
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Change doctors.

Arrange for your father to get the care he needs without providing it yourself.

Return to your family.

If you need suggestions or help about arranging care for your father, post again. Many people here have been there, done that.

But first, get Dad evaluated by a doctor who will listen to or read your description of what goes on at home, and who recognizes showtiming when they see it!
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Dr. Weisberger is not much of a geriatrician or he might recognize a case of showtimers when he sees it. If Dad can't find words, he has probably had strokes. Consider getting a geriatric neurology eval or geropsychiatric eval, or just a second opinion from a geriatrician. I take it Dad currently refuses to move to be close to your family, and you do not have any POA or guardianship, but this really does have to change. I hope your family has been able to visit and is not alienated!!
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Your profile says you live at home, when did this change, and far from NH are you? Could you get dad a caregiver? Would he do OK with a part time one? You need to be with your family.. Have you really been away since 2012? That is mind boggleing to me.. you need to make a move here!
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Sounds exactly like my father was. Could you get a visiting nurse to come for the hygiene piece?

Sounds like he has the rehearsal and show time down to a science. That is enough to drive anyone crazy. Doesnt the doctor notice that he is dirty?

Not to sound harsh, but if you are living away from your wife and children: that has to change ASAP. YOUR NUCLEAR FAMILY MUST COME FIRST. I have learned that the hard way. Could he go to a senior living near your home? Start visiting potential places first thing tomorrow morning!
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