Follow
Share

I had distanced myself from nasty father over the past 2 years with no contact with him. I had written to this forum a couple of weeks ago just before he passed away last weekend. My siblings are resentful of the fact I walked away from him, though I offered to assist financially. Last Saturday afternoon, one of my sisters messaged me to inform me that my father had removed me as co-executor of the his trust and that my brother had been assigned in my place. Less than 24 hours later, I received another message from my sister, "Just wanted to let you know that Dad passed away last night". I've had a mix of emotions over all of this during this past week. First, I had been angry with my father's disrespectful behavior towards me over the years - both verbal and physical abuse. I'm also confused over the fact that my sister let me know this about the trust very last minute. I can understand why my father excluded me as co-executor since I no longer had a relationship with him. My worry is that I am now excluded as a beneficiary. Since the subject is too raw - and too soon to even bring up and would cause even more resentful feelings towards me, how do I find out - or am I able to find out if I am still a beneficiary? There are four other siblings in all. No one is speaking to me, so very difficult for me to even ask. I have a copy of the original trust that was drawn up years before when my Mom asked me to be a co-executor. She passed away 4 years ago.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
It's obvious that you are thinking of your siblings' feelings at this time since you did mention that the subject is too raw and too soon right now to ask. It's great that you have this forum to turn to.
By all means, you certainly have a right to know the answer to that question.
Sorry to hear that your father didn't reach out to you and apologize for all those years.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

In my state you can't even start probate until 9 to 10 days after death. Not sure about Trusts. I know they are used to protect assets.

I would assume if Dad removed you as trustee, that he may have removed you as beneficiary. Not knowing how Trusts work, is that even something that can be done?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Give your family (siblings) at least a month before you ask if you’re a beneficiary. They need time to grieve. Imo it would be quite tacky to be asking about that now - one week after his death.
It often takes time and paperwork you may have to complete to access any $ you may inherit anyway. My husband’s mother just passed 5/24/20 & he and his siblings are still in the process of splitting up her estate. My husband has been filling out paperwork including getting forms notarized to prove his identity as a beneficiary, which during Covid is not easy.
My advice is to step back for now and wait a few weeks. If you haven’t been informed in 30 days I would ask your siblings on day 31.
I am sorry for your loss.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

It is still early days since your dad died.

I, personally, think that you should wait the 30 days that a Trustee has to notify you if you are a beneficiary.

Let them deal with the loss and burial before asking them about your potential inheritance.

Are you sure that he restated the Trust or amended it? Not so easy for a irrevocable trust to be changed after one of the persons dies. You can always approach it as though you were still the Trustee in charge and that would prompt you getting a copy of the change.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
AlvaDeer Aug 8, 2020
I think she says her father "HAD removed her", meaning during his lifetime, not after his death. It would have been nice of the sister to say "You will be hearing from us about the Trust" or "You were removed as an heir at the time you were removed as a successor Trustee due to your having removed yourself from Dad's life". Or something. But you make an EXCELLENT point in waiting. This is indeed early days to be jumping in on grieving kids to ask if you were left money.
(0)
Report
See 3 more replies
FloridaDD, are you referring to a Trust being filed in Probate?   To the best of my knowledge, they haven't been; that's part of their benefit, to be kept out of prying eyes and those who snoop through Probate files to identify recent deaths, then contact family to list houses, etc.

None of the Trusts on which I worked were required to be filed in Probate; that was back in the mid to late 1990s and early 2000s though, so laws may have changed.

HRLot, I don't know what state you or your father lived in, so if DD is right, there's no way for us to tell whether or not your state requires trusts to be filed, assuming you are in fact referring to a Trust.

Wills generally do have to be filed, depending on assets.    Whether or not a PourOver Will in conjunction with a Trust has to be filed depends on whether or not any of the assets were transferred into the Trust.  There's typically a "funding" of a trust, involving deeds, title transfers, etc. as well as a PourOver Will, funding the Trust with miscellaneous assets.

A PourOver Will MIGHT be subject to Probate, but assets funded and retitled in the Trust generally are not, with the exception of financial assets and real property which eventually are conveyed to identified heirs, and those transfers aren't made public.

I think the issue of whether you're referring to a Living Trust, an Irrevocable Trust or a Will needs to be clarified first, as others have written.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
AlvaDeer Aug 8, 2020
Such great information, as always, GardenArtist.
(2)
Report
See 2 more replies
If you cannot speak with your siblings then write a "lawyer letter" that ennumerates the duties of an executor or Trustee in your State. Send it certified to any in the family who may BE the executor or Trustee of the Estate. A will must be filed and that is a public document, but a Trust need not be. After you remind the probably Trustee his duties under the law, and actions you may take if these duties are not fulfilled, that is about it. You cannot demand a copy of the Trust. They do not have to respond to you in any way but to distribute the trust as it is written in the time frame your state dictates
My guess would be that, if you walked away with ZERO contact, it is more than likely that your parent walked away from you as well. I am glad that your sister notified you. I am sorry that your feeling of abuse was so strong that you apparently cut off any contact with your parent and with other family members.
Trusts have the Trustee and he is now responsible for dispersing the gifts of the Trust. Trusts often have a will be be filed as well; in some instances where there is only one Trustee who is also the sole beneficiary this doesn't have to be done in some state.
You might write your brother (and sister?) a nice letter telling them you are sorry for their loss of your Dad. You might ask them if, since it is your understanding that the trust was amended from your old copy, you remain a beneficiary of anything at all. I mean it sounds a bit odd, even to me, but it would relieve your mind one way or the other. There are several choices for you now.
1. Wait and see. There was no relationship with your father. Whether he left you money or not is kind of moot at this point.
2. Send a certified Lawyer letter. Which may accomplish zero.
3. Ask your brother and sister.
That's pretty much it.
I am sorry you didn't have any relationship at all with your father. You seem to be at peace with it as your only choice for your own well being, so just continue on with you life whatever the case.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
HRlot129 Aug 8, 2020
Thanks very much for your help. It's a very sensitive subject right now.
(0)
Report
If you are still a beneficiary then the successor trustee is required to notify you and within a certain time frame provide you with a copy of the trust. Have you asked your brother about any of this?
if he won’t give you any info then Try contacting the attorney that drew up the original trust, they may have been the same attorney who amended the trust (or drew up a new one) . With trusts there aren’t necessarily going to be county filings because there is no probate. Trusts are created to avoid probate and court.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
FloridaDD Aug 8, 2020
good points, OP's language is confusing to me.   One can be the executor of a will or a trustee of a trust, but not an executor of a trust.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
It will have to filed in the court in the county he lived, may take a week or two
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
HRlot129 Aug 8, 2020
That might have been filed at any time, so not sure if it had been drawn up recently or not. I wonder if I will be notified then?
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter