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My father was diagnosed with Alzheimers and my SM refuses to help. She had her name placed on his savings acoount and has now taken all his money. I have POA and we are trying to get back. She refuses to help with his meds, Refuses to have any caregivers come in and help him. Refuses to make him dinner, Refuses to let my brother and i help. She cut off the house phone. My father has a cell but messes with it and half the time it doesnt work. My SM screams and yells at him about everything. screams at him if his family visits. and so much more She has even gone as far as to call the police on me in an attempt to have me arrested for assault. Which never happened. I contacted dept of aging for help. They are trying to get my fathers money back. But now she has told my father that the agent from dept of aging is trying to put him in a nursing home and that they are liars. My dad is now mad at me, SM has told him that i lie to him and that I took his money etc. We have tried to get him to move in with either me or my brother, but he is use to his home and knows it. But i just dont know what to do. Its stressful and i dont sleep at night worrying about my father. Any options, opinions, etc i will take. Thank You.

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Esther let us know how you get on hun xxxx
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Thank you Phoenix Daughter....Ive already started most of that. I appreciate everyones help..Thank You
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Then I would serve an injunction preventing her from coming anywhere near him and then I would care for him.
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In the UK I know exactly what I would do. I would open an account for my Dad and make sure all payments TO him were paid in to that. I would stop the current account she has access to by saying it is under dispute and then I would go for her jugular by referring her to social services on the grounds of abuse of a vulnerable adult vis a vis one some or all of the following

Physical abuse - you haven't highlighted it but I would just make sure he is safe

Sexual abuse - unlikely but can still happen

Psychological or emotional abuse such as: threats of harm or abandonment; deprivation of social or any other form of contact; humiliation, blaming, controlling, intimidation, coercion, or harassment; verbal abuse; prevention from receiving services or support.

Absolutely on this one

Financial or material abuse such as: theft; fraud or exploitation; pressure in connection with wills, property, or inheritance; misuse of property, possessions or benefits.

Absolutely on this one

Neglect or acts of omission such as: ignoring medical or physical care needs; preventing access to health, social care, or educational services; withholding the necessities of life, such as food, drink, or heating.

Absolutely on this one

Discriminatory abuse such as that based upon a person's race, sexuality, or disability; any other forms of harassment or slurs.

Depending on what she says this could apply

Domestic violence - all forms of abuse can be experienced in a family setting by a partner, family member, or with someone with whom there is a relationship. See Domestic violence .

Absolutely on this one

Institutional abuse and poor practice - disrespect and unethical practice, ill treatment and professional misconduct.

Not possible he is not in any institution but certainly disrespect

These do not have to be deliberate acts, they can be the result of either ignorance, knowledge or understanding. If a person is being abused one way they almost certainly being abused in other ways.
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Garden Artist ... POA can be used now. Once it was signed by my father i couldve used it right away.
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Esther, we need to know if a declaration of incompetency is required for you to be able to act as proxy under a DPOA.
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I have Durable Financial and Medical POA..
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Are you proxy under a legal/financial or medical POA? As Sunnygirl writes, the type of authority you have makes a difference in how you can help your father. Read the POA and let us know what authority you have, and whether or not it's dependent on a declaration of mental incapacity by physicians.

You can also call APS; a person with dementia who can't operate a cell phone should under no circumstances be in a house with a phone he can't use. There is no justification for terminating land line service, even if people do that today and just rely on cell phone service.

I don't think his moving in with you or your brother is a good idea, for a few reasons:

1. Alzheimers will continue to advance, and it will become very difficult to care for him. It's generous of you to want to help your father, but either you or your brother or both will quickly become overwhelmed.

2. Your father's already angry at you b/c of misinformation; can you imagine living with him with that kind of anger?

3. Your father doesn't want to move. Being forced to would only heighten his hostility toward you, and might also induce more confusion from the necessity to become acclimated to different surroundings. That confusion can and probably would heighten the existing Alzheimer's behavior he already displays.
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preventelderabuse website This elder abuse. There is something you can do!
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I would see an attorney in the jurisdiction where your dad lives and give specific advice on how to proceed with utilizing the Power Of Attorney. There are different types, such as Durable, Medical, nonDurable, etc.
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