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He also gets VERY angry when you try to get him up to go to the bathroom. He is 92 and had a stroke and has been diagnosis with dementia.

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we started seroquel last night and Dad has been sleeping all day. I am afraid to give it again tonight if he is going to sleep all day. Does that even out after a few days?
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My cousin had seroquel at night for awhile. I was alarmed too, when I read about it, but I talked to the staff and multiple people about it. Apparently, it's not uncommon and is quite helpful. She had very small doses and it really helped her sleep. She no longer needed it after she went back on Cymbalta, though.
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The drugs can be scary but then so is the disease and having hallucinations. I think it would be worth giving it a try, just be vigilant about reporting possible side effects, it might take a few tries to get the right drugs/dosage.
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we just went to a new neurologist yesterday and he gave him a sleeping aid and it was worst than ever this morning. He did suggest a drug called sequel for the hallucinations but what I read about that drug is scary.
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I have read that losing one's inhibitions is common with dementia. Discuss it with his doctor. I would ask about meds for the hallucinations.
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Oh, poor dad! Definitely talk to his doctor about this, but also, assure him the lady will still be there.
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Thanks for the suggestions. He has gotten very sexual [if that is the right word] with this stage of his dementia. He plays with himself alot and he wants the woman under the bed to help him. :[ The anger of getting up is not the fear of the bathroom but the fear that she will be gone when he returns. The damage from the stroke is in the frontal lobe so his inhibitions are gone. It seems to be getting worse with the dementia.
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I totally agree with the above comment. There's no use in trying to convince your dad that there is no lady under the bed. All that will do is irritate and agitate him more. Look under the bed and tell your dad that she's gone. Maybe tell him that you've stuffed pillows underneath there so she can't fit anymore.

I also agree with having a urinal next to your dad's bed but this is a double-edged sword. While it's convenient, If he uses it while lying down the urine might come trickling out but will your dad understand that he has to sit up to use it?

Have you considered using Depends at night for your father?
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I would discuss it with his doctor. There are medications that can help. If his regular doctor can't help, try to find a geriatric psychiatrist. Until then I would try to assure him that the woman is safe there and will cause no harm. I wouldn't try to convince him a woman is not under the bed. Just comfort him that she's nice, kind and will leave soon.

As long as he gets angry when you get him up, I would stop getting him up or change the time you get him up. Can he wear a pull up and sleep on pad? I would prefer cleaning up than a big, upsetting scene. Maybe, with medication, the agitation will decease and he will get up easier.

Maybe there is something about the bathroom he's not liking, cold floors, cold toilet seat, bright lights, etc. See if you can figure out what he's not liking. What about a portable toilet by the bed, so he doesn't have to walk far? I would just try to do something different to adjust to him, rather than convincing him to comply with what you want. That's not likely to happen and you will become frustrated over time. If it's not working, move on to Plan B.
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Having worked with clients that hallucinate, I always go along with what ever they think they see.... one lady constantly had cattle going thru her room...I would go in a 'shoo them out', make a bid deal of making sure they were all gone, then she would go sound asleep.... so maybe if you go thru the motions of 'getting that woman out from under the bed' it will help him.... to him it is real.... and nothing you say will change his mind.... it wouldn't hurt to try....it may not help at all, if not, then get him a urinal to keep by his bed... like I said, to him it is real, and very frightening to them.... God knows caregivers go to some extremes to help those we love....
Also, have you asked him why the woman is there, or what does he think she wants or wants to do.... if he is able to communicate that with you, it may give you a clue how to 'get rid of her'..... good luck..... but don't try to convince him she isn't there, because in the world he lives in... she IS there.
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