Both parents passed their license exam last fall, unsure to this day how. For several months, Mom has had to tell Dad how to get around town; where to turn, how far to go, even how to get to the next town to church when he goes alone on Sunday. She has not driven in several yrs due to poor vision. On Wed, he got in the car and 2 hrs later, the local police called my sister to say that they had found him 1 mile away in the Walmart parking lot, very confused. He had stopped someone walking by and he was not making sense, didn't know where he was, where he lived, how he got there or how to get back. EMS/PD were called, he refused to go to the hospital. My sister arrived and drove him home, the car and drivers license were taken away pending another DMV test. So, needless to say he is very angry and thinks everyone is "ganging up" on him. He promises to let Mom do the driving but we all know how that will play out. Background: he's always bullied his way around to get his own way. My mother has always cowered down and does everything to keep him happy. Last Oct we moved them from their home to a lovely senior apartment 1 mile from town, the hospital, doctor, grocery store/pharmacy, they both say they like it there and seem to have settled in ok. This was at their request, not our agenda. There are 3 other apartments in the bldg. and they have met the other people there but my parents are not social butterflies.
I'm concerned that he may be having TIAs; he recently passed a mini-mental status exam at his PCP office and had a CT scan of his brain, we don't have results yet. I explained my concern that he could go off the road, go the wrong way in the driving lane, pull out in front of someone and kill himself or worse, someone else; he threw the phone down on the floor thus ending the conversation. They refuse to have help come to the apartment; in fact they have fired 5 housekeepers over the years. They really could use help w/ personal care, light housekeeping, meal prep etc. My siblings who live nearby are doing the cleaning on the weekends, preparing meals because mother has burned things up on the stove. We're at a loss as to what to do, we can all see how they could live safer if they would allow private care but they become quite angry when we approach the topic. We get that they don't want to lose independence, no one wants to take that away. I would be grateful for any suggestions.