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Starting to get low on money! Help!!! I need serious advice before I start going crazy. So here's a (quick) little back story. My dad was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, heart disease, and starting to get dementia. He now has to be on oxygen 24/7. Before he got diagnosed with all these things, he was pretty religious. But AFTER, he got really really religious. He would sit in our living room doing rituals and telling us that we could not disturb him. He would refuse to eat or take his medication (he's also diabetic) until he was done doing these rituals. Which included, grabbing his knees, putting his arms in the air, touching certain spots on his plate repeatedly. And for the past few years he's been sending money to this church show that he is obsessed with. And lately he's been increasing the payments. My parents are trying to move and with him sending all this money every single month, they can't afford fixing the house to sell it. We have talked to him about his numerous times, but he insist on sending money, and that it's more important than anything else. We do in fact have power of Starting to get low on money!attorney and could cancel the card (which we are probably going to do) but we are all afraid of what he's going to do if we do cancel it. He threatens to not eat or take his medication if we do anything to stop the payments. And once we even had the fire department come to the house and almost had to sedate him in order to get him to the hospital to take medication (he had refused to take it for a few days and was really acting strange.) The entire process was so stressful and heartbreaking! so now my family is just really confused on what we should do!! Advice?! Please! We feel bad taking all of his rights away, he's 74 and really isn't bad shape besides the fibrosis problem. I just need an outsiders opinion. Thank you!

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When you do cancel his credit card, (I agree with your lawyer, it should be cancelled) is there a way you could make sure that he doesnt know this was done? Maybe you dont even have to tell him that his money isnt going into that multi-millionaire's hands anymore. Does Dad pay over the phone? Perhaps you could arrange it so Dad still believes, falsely, that he is giving money to that 'huckster' if that makes him happy. When you cancel Dad's CC, who would tell him? Sometimes a little white lie is best...?
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Have you spoken to your dads PCP or pulmonary specialist? PF is a scary diagnosis and the outlook is grim for most.
You are going to have to take action. After you do, you'll wonder what took you so long. It's not easy to go against your fathers wishes, but You can't let him hold your mom hostage with his behavior. It's about the whole family, not just him. If he acts out and has an event, be prepared with an action plan. But meanwhile Cancel the card. Turn off the cable. Limit the bank funds. Put moms money in a separate account. Do something. Add antidepressants or anxiety meds. Don't wait for the anti to go up. Start with the dr. and see what help you can find there.
As you have already said, it's getting worse. He needs your help to break the cycle if possible. His rituals sound like OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Poor guy. He sounds like he's just trying to do the best he can. If he should need Medicaid in the future, his gifting could cause problems with that as well.
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Oh my God what a mess! I really do feel sorry for you!
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Who diagnosed dad was " getting dementia "? I think you need to talk to his PCP about his overall mental health and behavior; is it possible that low oxygen is causing some of these issues? You might think about consulting a geriatric psychiatrist for a diagnostic workup of his mental health. There may be meds that would help with the agitation and anxiety.
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Find out how much he has sent Swaggert since he has been diagnosed. Call his organization and ask if he will be a good Christian and give the money back. This is so sad and it seems so common that Alz. are more worried about pleasing strangers than taking care of the family. Bless you as you have your hands full.
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Stop the credit card; he'll holler and misbehave but let him. Use your POA to transfer funds out of his accounts so any checks would overdraft. It's a cruel way to cut off his access to funds, but he's not thinking clearly, especially with the rituals.

Notify Swaggart he'll get no more money and if he continues to harass your father, you'll contact the police and ask for assistance in getting an injunction against him.

I wouldn't normally recommend that mental stability be addressed by a doctor, absent other signs of dementia, but clearly your father not thinking straight, and there may be something else going on.
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he's is in bad shape psychologically !! Maybe someone can offer suggestions on how to get him help and get you help also.
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I hate to sound flip here but ask Dad "Dad, you are running out of money... will Pastor Swaggart or his family come to the house to take care of you when the money is gone?" Depending on your Dad's age, if he is very elderly, tell him he will wind up in the "poor house", he will understand, I hope.

On the other side of the coin, watching the shows keeps your Dad busy. Maybe start narrowing down how many hours he is watching it. Is he watching the Jimmy Swaggart Ministries network SBN on cable? Find something else for him to watch, like the old reruns of TV westerns, or sports.

I would cancel that credit card. Tell Dad it was compromised, someone else is using it, and you will get a new card.... but the new card has been declined because of credit issues that you need to straighten out.... just keep making excuses. Sometimes we need to fib to help save them from themselves.
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It doesn't sound like your dad is rational. I don't see it as taking his rights away if he's compromising his and your mom's living situation by sending money to televangelists. He doesn't have the right to do that. I agree with Windyridge in that someone needs to take over the finances so your dad doesn't have ready access to that money. If he wants to stomp his foot and hold his breath (stop eating and taking and medications) call 911 if he carries on like that for too long. He's being very manipulative and childish which if often seen in people with dementia. His behavior can't continue to keep his family held hostage.
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Does he still live on his own? How old is he? Someone needs to control the credit cards and finances. poa might suffice or may have to get guardianship but get it done. This is money that is probably needed for care that is getting wasted on a TV huckster. The TV preachers prey on the elderly. They should all be shut down.
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Does he go to a local church? Perhaps the pastor there would be willing to talk to him about his responsibility to take care of himself and his wife, and to honor the vows he took before god when they married. Or any approach the pastor could think of to convince Dad that he needs new priorities for his money.

What does "is getting dementia" mean? That he has been diagnosed with dementia and is in the earliest stage?
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