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She had leg amputated after HIDING the black toe until leg below knee had to be amputated. Rehab said NO to food being brought in, but allowed him to bring fresh coffee every morning and STAY all day long AND he brought her food anyway. She does nothing for herself. Released to go home, now he waits on her TOTALLY. Takes pics of her closet, brings clothes to her to select. If any of us comment, we are CUSSED OUT about her GD leg and the pain. Does NOT do therapy at all. After 3 strikes (dad yelled at me, mom yelled, then later told me to SHUT UP when I asked about anything medical), I decided to stay the 1000 miles away and leave them alone. I hired a maid, but mom realized maid was telling my sister and me information about the condition of the house. She fired maid. I feel bad but haven't contacted them in weeks.

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Lucy, sadly it's true what others have said. Sometimes we have to wait for an unfortunate incident to occur before we can finally step in.
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Dear Lucy,

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know you love your parents and want what's best for them. I know you do. And its hard to step back even though you have good intentions.

I should know. I tried to help my dad and all he did was get angry at me too. And one day I gave up. Its hard to know when to keep trying and when to back off. Where is the line? Where is the balance? Almost feels impossible as an adult trying to look after elderly parents.

Step back for now. Its hard I know. Let your dad help your mom. If its what makes them happy then just let it be for now. But if at any point you thought they were danger than call social services to check on them.

Try to take care of you for now. Thinking of you.
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Lucy you have done all you could. Step back and wait for them to call you. One of them will land in the hospital very soon. I think at this point it is too soon to seek Guardianship over them. Many of us have been at this point, where they need help and refuse. Things will change.
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