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I love my father dearly. He lives alone in an independent living facility. During the day he does socialize with people, but at night, he's in his apartment by himself and he starts calling me multiple times at night. He calls as soon as I get home from work, an hour later when I'm having dinner, and then again later on. Last week, I had already had two longer phone conversations with him, and I was finally sitting down to unwind and watch TV for a little bit before going to bed. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down, the phone rang. I just about lost it. I sort of snapped at him, and then I felt bad. Another time, after already speaking to him, I told him I had to get some work done on my computer that evening. Sure enough, I had just logged on and the phone rang. Several times, I have specifically told him that I will not be available in the evening (if I have plans to go out) and sure enough, he calls anyway. The other night (after telling him that I was going out at least 5 times) he called my cell phone (which I told him to call only in emergency). I was out with some friends, and I had to step outside and call him.
He calls even when I tell him that I won't be around. He is still mentally alert. This is really starting to affect me. Am I not allowed to go out and have some sort of social life? I basically take care of him by myself because my two sisters barely chip in. I don't know what else to do. I don't mind talking to him daily but getting phone calls from him every 45 minutes is too much. He doesn't respect the fact that I do have a life, and can't talk to him constantly. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to have a breakdown. Then I feel guilty if I don't talk to him, or cut the conversation short. Does anyone have any suggestions, or is there a way (which I hate to do) to block his number periodically so he can't call me? I am riddled with guilt sometimes, but then I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown when he calls constantly.

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Clinginess, that was supposed to say.
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I would take him in for a complete neurological workup- - soon. There is clearly a level of forgetfulness, clinging SS and anxiety that is not "normal" and needs looking at. Write down a list of what's going on before you see the doctor.
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He needs staff around him because he is sundowning. Think about getting him to Assisted Living, where they can keep an eye on his medications and be sure they have a PRN for anti-anxiety meds. In the meantime, turn off the ringer on the phones at night. Answer only one call per day, let the rest go to voicemail. We had to do the same.
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I see from a post in February that your dad has had a stroke. I'm with FF, I think his cognitive function is more impaired than you realize. It was suggested in February that he might be a candidate for assisted living and I would agree. You also said he forgets. So when you talk to him, he probably forgets as soon as you've talked (my mom does that too) and then he calls again. Just don't answer the phone. You don't have to be his entertainment committee. He's in a place with other people, if he wants more companionship, it's at his fingertips.

Depending on his cognitive function, you might be able to do what i do with my mom. I have big notes that I stick on her couch (which she can see from her chair). You could write something like "Dad, I'm not able to take calls from 4 PM until 8 AM. I'll call you every morning at 8 AM. If you need help, call the front desk by dialing 0." And then set up a time to call him regularly. I call my mom at 8 AM and 6 PM every day. You have a right to a life. I don't think your dad can help, it, I think his cognitive function is impacted. So set your limits and stick to them for your own mental health!
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since he is in a place that is keeping somewhat of an eye on him, get an answering machine. sounds horrible, but that may end up being the only way.
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IES, you mentioned that your Dad is mentally alert... I have to question that he is, since your Dad does this at night, sounds like "sundowning" and he is probably forgetting that he had already called you.

Have you visited your Dad at his home in the evening? If it has been awhile, I would suggest you visit. You may find a different Dad during the night time compared to during the day.

If that is the case, be easy on him, it's the brain that is confusing him. Others here can give you ideas on what to do to help limit the calls.
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