He is very weak, but the hospital said if he can walk 100 feet he can not go into assisted care. He went home yesterday and fell this morning. We had to call ems, my husband went as well. He called again twice later in the day asking for my husband. He fell again trying to go out to get an eggplant grinder. I assume he was going to drive, but he was able to get up and called and asked my husband for a favor. He wanted him to get the sandwich and bring it to his house. He did it because he feels bad for him. God knows why!
He is weak and falling, just home from the hospital (I'm guessing from an earlier fall) AND FALLS AGAIN THE NEXT DAY?
He thinks he can DRIVE himself to get a sandwich? Next time your husband helps him, make sure he gets his car keys. He can tell Dad his battery is dead, he needs to use Dad's car a few days, then never return it.
Someone set Dad up with food delivery numbers (Door Dash, etc.), since he still has an appetite. He could call and have a pizza delivered.
Anything to keep this Senior Brat from driving!
If by assisted living they mean private care, the hospital is wrong. People in Assusted Living residences drive and take walks. If the hospital meant assisted in Longterm care, I think your Dad would pass the test. My Mom was in a wheelchair because of falling but there were residents that walked more than 100 ft. They walked around inside the building and outside to the garden. Some residents could plant flowers. The criteria is 24/7 care and Dad needs that. Hopefully APS will take over his care. Then all you need to do is visit him and maybe bring him goodies.
I don't know why my messages keep ending up in the questions category
"What do I do next?" is a question.
This is now a constant, isn't it? And Dad won't move. And caregiver-poa sister isn't doing much.
Mary, the honest truth is that Dad may well die at home.
And the honest truth is that Dad may well wish that to be the case.
Let me ask you Mary. Frustrating as this is, his not seeking/accepting help, your almost daily diary of his downfall.............consider..................isn't it just as well that he die at home?
And FOR HIM, isn't it almost a good thing?
I understand, hard as you have tried to intervene that it isn't good for YOU in terms of frustration. But isn't it good for HIM?
At 82 I begin to think differently about this whole thing.
We die at home in a fall or we have another year or two in care we hate? For what? What's the net gain there.
Mary, just keep calling APS. That's about all the advice I can give you.
There's nothing you can do here.
Write that down in a Big Chief tablet over and over again.
"There is nothing I can do but report this"
"There is nothing I can do but report this".
One of these days you will write us that he is gone.
Isn't it better at this point just to let him do it HIS WAY.
Mary, I recommend to you the Serenity prayer.
At this point in my life I virtually live it, repeat it, exist within it.
Look it up. I believe it will help you if you practice it as a mantra, as a meditation.