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Sometimes when he stands up, he starts using it and I have to make him sit back on the toilet to try and finish. Is there a way I can make him more aware of reminding me that he has to use the restroom or is this a matter of the inabilty to use his sphincter muscles to defecate?

Since my father has a bad hip, he may be reluctant to sit on the toilet, however there are times when he will ask to go if he has to urinate. He does wear depends because of possible accidents.
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Ahmijoy Aug 26, 2018
Like I said, the higher toilet seat or the bench with handles may be more comfortable for him. It is for me.
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He has a bad hip and usually grunts when getting up or sitting down on the toilet , however when l ask him if it hurts to sit on it, he says “no”. He is constantly fidgeting with the toilet paper or anything that he sees on the sink. I have to remind him that he is suppose to be using the restroom. He has shown signs of mild dementia at times, but can usually remind me when he wants to eat or go to bed. His short term memory is not that bad either.
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Ahmijoy Aug 24, 2018
Thank you for the additional information. I have bad hips too, and back spasms. Sitting on the toilet used to be very painful for me. Dad may sit there until the pain gets to be too much and then has to stand up.

We have a raised toilet seat. You can buy handicap toilets or go to a medical supply store and by a riser that attaches to the seat. It does make a difference when you aren’t “hunched over” on a lower toilet.when my husband was still mobile, we had an over-the-toilet bench with bars on it to help the person get up and down.
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What is your father's condition? Can he explain why he keeps getting up too soon? I would think that if he were able to do it better, he would.

After my LO become incontinent, I noticed that she really had no idea that she was going. She never even seemed to recognize that she had used the bathroom in her Depends.
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Louise60 Aug 24, 2018
Since my father has a bad hip, he usually grunts when getting up or sitting down on the toilet. Sometimes he fidgets with the toilet paper or anything that’s on the sink. Other times he just sits and sleeps on the toilet. I try to keep on a every two hour schedule of taking him to the restroom and it does help at times.
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It sounds like 2 slightly different but related problems, he doesn't stay on the toilet long enough and he doesn't let you know when he needs to go. The first one I don't have any great suggestions for other than maybe putting something in the bathroom to capture his attention, you know like the "reading room" jokes so may magazines or a radio so he wants to stay longer and forgets to get up too fast? The other can sometimes be helped at least by getting them on a toilet schedule of some sort, if urinating is an issue as well every couple hours they say but I would think as long as he's regular with defecating a regular scheduled opportunity morning and evening maybe with something entertaining to keep him there might help?
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Unless Dad is going in his pants, bed, etc. he’s not really incontinent. It sounds like he just doesn’t realize he has to go and whether he’s gone or not. It maybe just a case of not sitting there long enough which is something you’ll have to encourage him to do. If his stools are too bulky, hard or too loose, you may want to adjust his diet and ask his doctor about his medications. Do you think it might be time for Depends?
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