Mom's urine is tea colored. The urologist said "It's sediment from the bladder." I tried to get him to be more specific by asking " Blood? Infection?"
He said "Maybe, but we wouldn't do anything about it anyway."
When I asked why not, he replied "Because of her age and condition."

Two days ago, before he consulted by my mom's doctor, he butted in on a conversation I was having with mom's nurse about her code status. He let me know in no uncertain terms, that he felt patients her age (86) should not be treated as a full code. He went on about how hard it is on the family if a patient ends up in a vegetative state on a ventilator.
I asked him if it was worse than standing by the bedside, watching them die, while no one did anything. He said, for him it was. So I know he has a "do nothing" attitude toward older patients.
I hope I get to tell him what I like to tell everyone taking care of mom -- "I hope you get the kind of care you gave my mother, when you become ill."

Mom's urine bag was emptied. The fresh urine is now a much lighter color. Maybe there was nothing to be done about it.

Her attending came in and was not concerned as long as her urine is not dark and she has no fever.

As for the urologist, he has a reputation for being arrogant and insensitive. If he's in my mother's room or see him in the hall I will certainly begin a discussion about it with him.

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I am sorry to hear that you went through that with your husband. Stopping life support is a difficult decision to have to make.

You have a very good point, life support can be withdrawn at any time. I don't know why this doc told me in his story that he just went through this with his aunt. He, of all people, would have known he could discontinue life support and did not have to "suffer" being by her bedside for 6 months -- unless someone else had the POA and fought him on it.

I have a copy of my mother's living will and I am her medical POA,
She basically states in her LW she would want to be DNR. Occasionally she says things to me that indicate she has changed her mind about the issues. I feel obligated, at the very least, talk to her nurse (she is currently hospitalized) about what she has told me. That is what I was doing when this doctor decided I should have his opinion. At the time he was not involved in my mother's care, so it was just another opinion.

When I found out he was called in as a consult, I waited to see what he said when he saw my mother. He felt no need to treat her, because she is old. His opinion is obvious in the way he treats his patients.

I am considering calling the patient representative or the nursing supervisor or the administrator and telling them that he chooses the code status he believes is right for the patient and treats them accordingly. II simply is not his decision.

I feel that they pressure you to make these decisions long before you have all the facts. Who can know what lies ahead? My mom even asked me why I wanted to know now about CPR and intubation. She said "I won't know until the time comes."

I am learning to be very careful to watch for signs of prejudice against the elderly, in my mother's providers. There are definitely two opposing camps. I want my mother treated by those who respect and care about the elderly.
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A doc has no right not to treat someone who is not anDNR does the hospital know his feelings about you can refuse to let him care for your Mom and if a pt, ends up in a vegative state on a vent that is the time the family can act and stop life support we did with my husband he had a series of unresponsive spells until he had one that got worse and I was pushed to make him a DNR and I refused 3 days later when the family was together and he had no hope of recovery we stoped the life support and he died 12 hrs. later it is not true once life support starts you can not stop the process,
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