What shall I do? If her family will not step up I will call APS?

I would, sometimes a senior will take needed advice better from an expert. She needs care, something has to be done.

I assume you mean that her daughter is frustrated because she's trying to get Mom to accept care in her home or a move to AL? If that is the case, you'd probably be doing the daughter (and certainly the Mom) a favor by calling APS. The lady is probably past the point where she can make a logical decision about her own care.

It sounds to me like someone needs to make an assessment of this 95 year old and the daughter needs help get POAs and things like that done ASAP.

So what happened when you called the daughter? You do not say. I would call the daughter again and offer to help out since you live across the street, but no knowing what she said in the first place puts me at a disadvantage. Let us know what the daughter said. You can call police to make a welfare check on this woman as well. They might elect to call APS if they see the need.

Speaking as a daughter I would LOVE if you did that. Some old people are defiant, illogical, obnoxious etc. If she were in ALF and she checked her self out.. well... that sounds like trouble right there. No one can stop a grown up person from doing what they want. Obviously someone had tried to do something there. Families cannot always step up because for some elders we are the ENEMY. We tried with my mother but she screamed bloody murder and had a big breakdown but she isn't declared incompetent, they said mild to mid dementia. You sit on pins and needles and wait for her to fail. My mother would probably burn down an ALF not kidding about that. She will kick out anyone you send to help. There are no good answers for some people. At 95 as a neighbor I might just made a nightly sweep make sure the doors are closed, best you can do. It's not an ideal world out there and most elders are not going to live in ALF without a big fight and I mean, my mother will hurt people, hit and swear and curse. They would kick her out. You do the best you can, they don't tend to live forever. My brother has POA, we had an assessment. Didn't change one thing. She's back in her house all smug almost sticking her tongue out at us. Social services will check for edible food and clean house, etc. and some crazy old people can pull that off perfectly fine. Plus we decided that if she gets one more good year living on her own with her free will crap, then fine. She could move to ALF and live many more years but she chooses the path of difficulty. She wants to live by herself. Amen.

Speaking from the viewpoint of the frustrated daughter, we don't know what she has been trying to do from what you have posted. I am one of those frustrated daughters. My sister and I took a journey with my mother just this last fall with her pitching fits and finding out she has been all telling horrible lies to her friends about both my sister and I. However she constantly passes the evals, and then when in the clear yet again she turns into one of her 5 Dementia personalities. This lady sounds just like my 90 yr old mother. She is funtional enough to pull off the mental eval to be on her own. If you want to be concerned, call the daughter again and help her get the care I have a feeling she wants her mother to have. Sometimes all it takes is someone helping us through a very confusing system. Don't automaticly assume the worst of the daughter unless she told you something you didn't share. Someone got this lady into ALF and I would bet it was the daughter. I would also bet that when this lady checked herself out the daughter wanted to tear her hair out. Been there done that :-(

I believe APS is a last resort. I would try calling the daughter again. APS will take over the woman's life, probably seize her home and make decisions for her that may or may not be in her best interest. I wish someone had called me before APS took over my mother's life. Now they have her house, her car, and decide whether or not she can give away or keep her own belongings!

Wy not ask the daughter if it would help her (the daughter) if you were to call APS? - it might help her get her mother back to the AL she left, or to a better one if the mother absconded for real reasons. If she does want you to, make sure you give APS her contact details too. My experience of social workers is positive when it comes to working with families; though I know other people's has not been so good.

Meanwhile, based on how things look to you, you can set yourself a mental deadline: if nothing has changed for the better by such-and-such a day/time, you're calling whether the family likes it or not.

You're a good neighbour. The old lady is lucky to have your concern.

Thank you for your advise to my post, I wish I could answer to all... , I couldn't see her everyday because my job to go to. I have to stay with my client 4 days strait and 3 days at my home. I'm kind of hesitate to call APS now till I speak with her daughter again if she wants talk to me about her Mom....I should see Eva this coming Sunday when I'm at home. I did not write on this post about Life alert system that she has, but I don't know she would use it or not.. I will find out more about her and her family and I would let you know. ps: Sorry my English as second language, I will try my best!!

You are a very concerned neighbor to care for this elderly lady. Do you feel that Eva is able to take care of herself and her home. Is she clean and neatly dressed does she seem to be keeping her house clean and tidy, is the kitchen cluttered with dirty dishes that kind of thing. Maybe you could take over a plate of cookies so she invites you in and you can see how she is coping.
When you see how Eva is really doing you should call her daughter again and see how she would like you to help. Don't rush to call APS in unless you find conditions that can not be ignored. Age alone is not a bar from living alone and maybe she found life in an institution to be too organized.

In the mean time... I would go up and talk to the police and maybe they can talk to her. In our town they take good care of the elderly such as nightly phone calls and free rides out. Good Luck, it will fall on your shoulders until this is solved, but thats our calling I think.

when I first time met Eva that was over five years ago when I move in to the senior mobile park with my boyfriend. About one and half month ago my boyfriend heard from Eva's next door neighbor who she told him about Eva was move to AL... that's was yet...
I never had have a questions of anyone moving out or passing, because it is our nature of living our senior park of over 260 homes.
Back to someone's question of Eva's home, it is pretty much organised, according to her daughter said "Mom has a house keeper for once a week and does laundry. I asked Eva when she took the bath or shower, she couldn't remember.... Her refrigerator has a lot of tv dinner, ensures, boosts, drinking waters, but milk was bad..
I will find out more about Eva tomorrow from her daughter if she wants talk to me again. Maybe/Hope her family is there... Last night I talked my friend(80), he doesn't wants involved...only he said very quite night....

Good news!! when I got home from my work, I saw two cars front of Eva's house. Seem like a Eva's family is packing Eva's stuff... so she is in good hands!! I did not talk to anyone, I just watched car was drive away with Eva was in!!

Wishing Eva well, and that her next neighbours are as caring as you. Thanks, STP, and I hope somebody gets back to you to let you know how she's getting on.

Yes, STP, you're a wonderful neighbor and Eva and her daughter are lucky to have you looking out for her. I hope she will be happy wherever they have taken her.

If you do try to speak to the daughter again and are unable to get anywhere with her then I would call APS. At least you will know that you have alerted someone to the fact that his elderly woman is back home, leaving doors open and does not seem to know what she is doing.

It sounds to me like no one has POA and somehow they managed to get her into assisted living but because there is no one making choices for her, she was allowed to check herself out and return home. Her daughter is probably frustrated beyond belief with her Mom and may just throw her hands up in the air and walk away.

Thank you for being observant and very kind and caring to this woman.