Follow
Share

I have been with her for 5 years. How do explain to her that I am not allowed she understands every thing except for the fact that they won't let her go any more .It kills me to see her beg me to take her the family goes and tells the church she is fixing to die(they hope) and they ask me how she is and she's fine eats no heart problems has o2 and uses a walker please help me ease her sadness church is all she has done all her life

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Would not suggest making an ultimatum to the family, if they took you up on it & replaced you, the new person may not be as caring.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Another thought - if you can, you tell her family that you can't continue to care for her unless you are again permitted to take her to church when she wants to go even if just once or twice a week. Tell them you find it unbearable to have her beg for something that means so much to her and be barred from doing it even though you would do it gladly. Unless there is some true underlying reason not to allow her to go that they just have failed to share with you appropriately, I would bet they don't want to have to find another caregiver on short notice.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Actually, denying someone their right to worship is a violation of their civil rights and could be considered as such. I mean as in Adult Protective Services or Office of Civil RIghts could be called. Yes, a visit with the pastor first is in order, but if you are right and that is fruitless because the family will continue to be embarrassed by it becoming evident that she is not as ill as previously advertised, it is possible that denying her the chance at attend at church at this stage of her life is a cruel enough thing to warrant that. People come to church on walkers, in wheelchairs, using oxygen, all the time. Many churches have personal sound amplifiers for the hard of hearing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Have your observed any other attempts by the family to isolate this woman, including from friends and/or other family? Sometimes the family moves in this way as it's seeking to control the woman (and her assets) by cutting off her contacts and making her more dependent on them.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

I agree that a call to the pastor is a good idea. Perhaps the pastor can offer additional insights into the situation. As a pastor, he/she most likely could keep your call confidential, if you ask that it be kept confidential.
At the small church I attend, a long-time member became disruptive as she went into her 90s. She would "whisper" to the person sitting next to her, only it wasn't a "whisper." One time when she was "whispering" the speaker actually stopped his presentation and gently called out to her by name, asking if there was something she wished to share with the congregation. She was shocked that anyone but the person she was talking to had heard her.
As others have said, whatever the situation is with your 93-year-old, the church should be able to make some accommodation to have the pastor and others of the congregation periodically visit her in the home. And Veronica91's ideas of watching services on TV and reading the Bible together would be easy to do, if her family has no objections.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I'm sure she misses the fellowship of her friends and attention. I would definately call the church and explain the situation. Give them permission to tell the congragation. I'm sure she would enjoy some visitors.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I agree with Pam, if she cannot go to church I pray church will come to her.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Agree with contacting her pastor and hope he/she will visit. Can you find some services on TV you can share with her and read the bible with her every day. Unfortunately you have to follow insructions
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

they have told the church she is so much worse than she really is and if she went they would be made out story tellers in front of the church , it breaks my heart the way they treat her and speech about her like she isn't there
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Did they mention why she couldn't go to church anymore? My mother uses a walker and sometimes has to leave early to use the restroom, but she is still able to go. As long as she can walk in and out of the church, I'll continue to take her. We have valet parking and an elevator, so she doesn't have to take the steps. That makes it a lot easier.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Call her pastor and tell him the situation. Certainly he can come to her and most churches have a "sunshine" committee to visit the homebound. Most churches have a lot of steps in and out and she may not be able to use them.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.