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I see my mother daily at the lovely assisted living facility where she has lived in the independent section, very close to our home, since my father's death just a few months ago. Since she moved there, I have seen very positive changes in her attitude, her demeanor, and her willingness to participate in activities and make new friends. Though she does have dementia, she has no problem socializing, taking care of her personal hygiene, using the phone, etc. We take her for outings at least once a week, which she thoroughly enjoys. However, my siblings, who live in other states, are saying that she should have a guardian appointed for her care. I am executor of my father's estate and have POA for my mother, and I consult my parents' attorney for any issues on which I am not perfectly clear. I believe I am fulfilling my duties as responsibly as possible, and that my mom is thriving in her new situation. Any advice?

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Your family members can try to have her declared incompetent and have a guardian appointed, but that doesn't mean they would succeed. A court would decide. Does one of them want to be guardian, or are they OK with having a stranger appointed?

A think this is something you should talk to the lawyer about. In case your siblings do spend the money to take action, find out what your options will be, and how you can contest it.

It would be far less expensive and stressful all around if the family members would just educate themselves about Mother's current condition. They can talk to the staff at the ALF. They can talk to her doctor. They can make a trip to visit. (And that will be far less expensive than the guardianship process, for which they would have to travel to her state.) If they are really motivated by Mother's best interest, then finding out for themselves how she is should be their first concern.

And by the way, my husband died just a few months ago. I swear there are days when I could be declared incompetent! The grieving process takes time and it isn't always smooth sailing. At the very least, Mother needs more time to adjust before being evaluated.
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