My mother was diagnosed with progressive dementia 3 years ago. The neuropsychologist who tested my mother recommended that my mother be in assisted living. My mother refused to go. After totaling her car and falling and breaking both of her arms and reaching a point where she could no longer live
by herself there was no other choice. My mother was declared incompetent to handle her own affairs by 2 doctors. I am an only child who lives 200 miles away in the mountains where it snows a lot. My mother does not like where I live and refuse to move with me. Living so far away, I did not want to hire a someone to care for her since I did not live close enough to monitor how she was being cared for.
I live in a very rural area and there are no assisted living facilities, only nursing homes. My mother is not ready for a nursing home. I found a wonderful, very active alf near to where my mother lives. There are several cousins and friends that live 20 minutes away . After my mother got adjusted to the move she absolutely loves her new place. It's a very active facility and my mother enjoys all the social action and the staff who are simply wonderful.
My mother's and my relationship is wonderful now that I am not her caregiver. The staff can get my mother to do things that I could never get her to do. The problem is the "family." My mother told me she wanted to say at the alf and for me to sell her condo. I noticed several things missing from my mother's condo.
When I mentioned this to my mother she became very upset. I eventually found out that my aunt and cousin had come to my mother's condo and had taken the things and given them to other cousins as well. Some of the items were thing that were family things that my mother had told me she wanted to
have. They took these things and didn't even tell me. They later told me my mother gave them to them. It's not the things but how they went about taking them. I said that it was very sad that someone would go to my mother's condo and take things. They said how dare I accuse them of stealing and now they are angry with me. I am very hurt. They never go to visit my mother even though they live close by. My mother and I are very hurt by this. They are the only family we have. How do I deal with this?